


Like Teaching A Dog To Surf

by JinxedAmbitions



Category: Animal Kingdom (TV)
Genre: Explicit Language, M/M, On-Again/Off-Again Relationship, Past Abuse, Recreational Drug Use, Sexual Content, Surfing, Trust Issues, Unresolved Sexual Tension, mild violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-07
Updated: 2018-07-06
Packaged: 2019-04-19 09:50:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 34,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14234667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JinxedAmbitions/pseuds/JinxedAmbitions
Summary: Adrian's not looking for more responsibilities.  He has plenty going on as it is, but when someone leaves a puppy on his doorstep in the middle of the night...well he isn't heartless.  And it obviously isn't just someone leaving him a dog, it's him.Adrian doesn't need the degree he's working toward to know that only Deran Cody would do something so reckless...careless...selfish?But when Deran shows up with everything Adrian could need to take care of a puppy and a willingness to help, Adrian's left wondering just how much Deran has changed over the last few months, and is Adrian really ready to let him back in even if it's just to share custody of an abandoned dog?





	1. Wet-Nosed Kisses

**Author's Note:**

> I've been sucked into Animal Kingdom recently, and I got this bug in my brain about Deran leaving a puppy on Adrian's doorstep, and this is what happened.

Adrian wasn’t sure what exactly woke him, but as his eyes fluttered open in the predawn haze, he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off.  He laid there for a moment, just listening to the waves crashing on the beach.

It reminded him of Belize.  The late nights that turned into early mornings where he and Deran would be tangled together on a mattress, covered in sweat and still high.  They’d sometimes lie there for hours, just listening to the waves outside and talking in hushed voices, sharing secrets they’d pretend would stay buried on those sandy beaches.  They were bittersweet memories of a simpler time.

Adrian was just about to roll over and attempt to get back to sleep when a quiet noise broke through the crashing of the waves.  It sounded almost like a whimper, and it set Adrian’s heart beating faster. Was someone injured outside? He hated how his thoughts immediately went to Deran, but he thankfully didn’t know anyone else who would show up on his doorstep in the middle of the night either trashed beyond belief or injured severely.  

Pushing the covers off his legs, Adrian sat up and listened carefully for the sound to come again.  He ran his fingers through his hair and glanced at the clock beside the bed.

4:22 AM.

The sound came again, a little louder this time.  Adrian strained to hear anything else, and he could have sworn he heard something scratching at the door.  

“This better not be a raccoon,” Adrian grumbled as he got out of bed.  He was not opening his door in the middle of the night just to be attacked by a hungry raccoon that had managed to get into his trash can.  

The sound of scratching grew louder as Adrian made his way to the front of the house, and the whimpers were easier to hear.  Adrian was pretty sure that they weren’t coming from a person, and his fears that Deran was lying on his stoop half-dead were eased.

Opening his door, Adrian cursed as he finally found the source of the noise.  There was a cardboard box in front of his door with several blankets inside of it, and a small dog.  No, it was definitely a puppy. It would eventually become a large dog if Adrian’s guess was right.

Someone had left a puppy on his doorstep in the middle of the night.  Not someone...no, only one person would do something like this.

Adrian cursed as the puppy let out a pitiful whimper.  Without the door to muffle it, it was truly heart-wrenching.

“You must be hungry,” Adrian said, sighing as he opened the screen door and held it with his hip as he reached for the box.  It was heavier than he expected but nothing he couldn’t easily handle.

A small gray-brown head popped up as soon as he had the box secured in his arms, and he was surprised to feel a wet tongue immediately begin to bathe every bit of skin within reach.

It was hard not to smile.  Adrian wasn’t heartless. He didn’t need more responsibilities, but he certainly wasn’t about to leave the pup out in the cool night air without anything to eat or drink.

Adrian carried the box into the kitchen and placed it on the small table he had in there.  The dog watched him as he filled one of his soup bowls with water before placing it on the floor.

The puppy didn’t seem too malnourished when he lifted it out of the box.  He figured it was part pitbull and who knew what else. Its ribs showed a little, but it seemed pretty lively which he assumed was a good sign.  

When he placed it on the floor, it immediately began to jump up around his legs, searching for attention.

“Drink the water,” Adrian said, pulling the bowl close and guiding the dog to it.  

He was grateful when the puppy began to lap at it messily.  That was a start. Now, he just needed to find something for it to eat that wasn’t days-old takeout from the burrito shake down the way.

“I’m going to kill Deran,” he said as he rummaged through his refrigerator, finding little of anything he’d consider feeding to a dog.

Adrian had been living off takeout and edibles since he’d gotten back from the tour.  He still had a couple weeks before classes started again, and he figured that he’d earned a little time to be irresponsible. Not that he wasn’t showing up to work, he just wasn’t stressing over the little things, like Deran Cody or Smurf’s wrath for taking some of her son’s attention from her.  Things were a lot more peaceful with Smurf locked away.

Looking down at the puppy currently pissing on his kitchen floor, Adrian let out another tired sigh.  Even when Deran was hardly in his life, he still managed to make messes for him. At least, a little dog piss was easier to deal with than broken windows or bones.  It was a lot cheaper too.

“I guess he’s making progress,” Adrian said, grabbing a roll of paper towels off the counter and squatting to clean the puddle.  The puppy just used it as an opportunity to jump on him and shower him with wet kisses.

Adrian found it harder and harder to stay pissed off.

“He didn’t even leave a fucking leash,” he said, going through the box the dog appeared in.  The blanket turned out to be one of Deran’s beach towels that he kept in his truck, which cleared up any doubts Adrian might have had about who left the little package.  There was nothing else though, which wasn’t helpful at all. Though he supposed he should be grateful the pup even got a box and towel.

Adrian ran his hands over his face, looking down at the dog which had curled up at his feet.  “We’ll deal with it in the morning. Let’s go back to bed,” Adrian said, reaching down and lifting the puppy into his arms.  He was once again showered in kisses as he carried the pup to his bedroom and dropped in gently onto the bed as he climbed back under the covers.

Without missing a beat, the dog curled up beside Adrian and settled in, whining softly until Adrian began to pet it gently.  

Adrian cursed silently, but soon enough the pup was asleep, and he was fast to join it.

* * *

Adrian was woken a second time by a noise outside.  This time, it came in the form of a persistent knock at the door, which set the puppy into an excited tizzy of barks and jumping.

The dog jumped off the bed, sprinted out of the room then right back into the room, barking the entire time.

Adrian sighed as he rolled out of bed and followed the excited pup to the front door.  He opened it slowly, only to find Deran standing there with a second cardboard box. Adrian gave him a flat look.

“That better not have a dog in it,” Adrian said, crossing his arms over his chest.

Deran had the decency to give him a sheepish look.  “No man, I brought supplies,” he said, tipping the box just enough to reveal that it was filled with dog toys and supplies.

Adrian sighed, but he opened the door for Deran to enter.  The pup went wild as it began to jump at Deran’s legs, barking excitedly.  A fresh puddle formed on the floor between Deran and Adrian.

Adrian turned to get the paper towels, but Deran caught his arm.  His touch was gentle but firm.

“I’ll take care of it.  Just take a look at these,” Deran said, handing the box to him.

Adrian didn’t have much choice in the matter as Deran beat a hasty retreat to the kitchen to retrieve the paper towels.  

“You don’t—” Adrian started to say, but Deran cut him off.

“I’m used to it.  Half of my job is cleaning up piss and vomit people leave behind at the bar,” Deran said, squatting down and cleaning up the floor as the puppy attacking him playfully.  He scratched the dog’s head and behind its ears before standing back up as Adrian continued to hold the box. “You going to look inside or just stand there like an ass?”

Adrian jolted, carrying the box into the kitchen and putting it down beside the one the dog came in.  “You can take your towel back,” Adrian said, pointing to where it hung half out of the other box.

“Keep it.  It’s already covered in dog piss,” Deran said, pulling a pair of bowls out of the box he brought.

“Who says I’m even keeping the dog?” Adrian asked, turning to fully face Deran.  He wasn’t going to let Deran think he could just make major decisions.

Deran gave Adrian that same incredulous look he always used when he thought Adrian was being completely dense.  “You need a guard dog,” he stated as though it was a well-known fact.

“Why the hell would I need a guard dog?” Adrian shot back, keeping his stance completely closed off.

“Because you’re completely oblivious!  Anyone could break in here, and you’d be sitting in your room watching surfing videos with headphones on.”

“The only people who break into my house are you and your thug brothers, and a lot of help the puppy’s been with you,” Adrian said, looking pointedly at where the puppy had flopped at Deran’s feet.

Deran once again had the decency to look a little sheepish as he glanced down at his guard dog candidate.  He nudged the puppy with his foot gently, but the pup just snuggled closer to him.

“I don’t need a guard dog.  I don’t need any more responsibilities period,” Adrian told him.

“Look, I found him at the junkyard, panting in the sun.  I couldn’t just leave him there,” Deran admitted. He had that same resolved look Adrian remembered from their drink at Deran’s bar, like he was struggling to do the right thing, but it didn’t really come naturally to him.  

Adrian understood that Deran’s entire moral compass was compromised from growing up with Smurf and his brothers.  That didn’t make it excusable when he pulled shit, but Adrian could see he was trying. Adrian wasn’t sure what he was trying to achieve, but he was trying.

“So, you thought who’s a sucker I could dump this on?” Adrian asked, refusing to look down at the puppy for fear he’d lose his nerve.  It wasn’t that he intended to get rid of the dog. He just wasn’t going to make this easy for Deran.

“No, it’s not like that,” Deran said, running his fingers through his hair in clear frustration.  “Like I said, you could use a guard dog.”

“What about Lena?  Why not give the puppy to her?  She’d love it,” Adrian suggested. He hardly knew Deran's niece, but didn't all children want puppies, and with everything happening with her father...

“Pope doesn’t do dogs,” Deran said.  “And Lena can’t take anymore loss. What if the pup gets sick or gets hit by a car?  It would crush her, and she’s been through enough shit with Cath and now Baz and Smurf.”

“What about Craig?” Adrian countered.

“Because his last dogs ended up so well, and Craig can’t even be trusted to take care of himself.  No way in hell am I giving him a dog to care for,” Deran defended himself.

Adrian sighed.  “Why didn’t you keep it for yourself?”

“With my hours at the bar?”

“So, I was the only option.  Thanks,” Adrian told him. He didn’t like the hollow feeling that opened up in his chest as he realized he was really just the sucker that would give in the easiest.

“It’s not like that.  I didn’t even think about all of them when I found the damn thing.  Doesn’t change that they’d be terrible dog owners, but they didn’t even cross my mind,” Deran told him, stepping over the now sleeping pup to get closer to Adrian.

“What makes you think I’m any better suited to owning a dog than they are?”

“Because you’re responsible, and you fucking care.  And your fuckin’ lonely, man. Look at this place! How could you not be lonely?”

“What if I was allergic?” Adrian searched for another excuse.

“First of all, you used to have one,” Deran said, standing just arm’s length away.

Adrian shook his head.  Deran still managed to surprise him with the details he remembered when Adrian was never sure he listened in the first place.

“Second, you’re only allergic to bee stings and latex,” Deran said confidently.  

Adrian would have been embarrassed by how Deran was aware of the latter, but he wasn’t ashamed over what they’d shared, not the way Deran seemed to be.

“You shouldn’t just leave dogs on people’s front steps,” Adrian fished for any excuse.

“Will you quit bitching already?  Are you keeping the dog or not?” Deran asked, sounding like he didn’t care either way, but Adrian knew better than to believe the front Deran put on.

“Where’s it supposed to stay all day while I run the shop?  I can’t have it sitting in there with all the particles and resin in the air, and it can’t sit outside in the hot sun all day.”

Deran bit his lip and put his hands on his hips.  “I could take him to the bar...once he’s trained, he could wander around while I get set up. Can’t be any worse than having Craig under foot when he’s high as shit,” Deran suggested.

Adrian gave him a flat look.  “You’re suggesting we take joint custody of the dog.  Are you out of your mind?”

“No, hear me out.  The dog’s with you at night, guarding this place. You can take him out in the morning before the sun gets too hot for him, and you can drop him at the bar before you head to work.  He can hang with me until you get off work, and you can pick him up on the way home before things get going at The Drop.”

“Then when you break into my house in the middle of the night, the dog will recognize you and not bother you,” Adrian finished for him.  It was a dick thing to say, but Deran had made his share of dick moves over the years.

Deran raised his hands in a sign of surrender.  “I get it, you made it clear you wanted space. That kiss at The Drop didn’t change anything. I just...fuck, man. I just saw it sitting there panting and whining, and I couldn’t leave it. And you’re the only person I know I can depend on. It’s not about favors and owing you something. You’re the only decent person I know.”

Adrian shook his head.  It was horrifying that he didn’t doubt Deran’s words at all.  It wasn’t that Adrian had delusions about being a white knight or anything, but he knew all too well just how far Deran’s family took debts, and they would absolutely see helping a puppy as a debt owed.

“You’ll have to take the dog out at some point during the day.  He’s pissing all over the place, and he’s hardly had anything to eat or drink,” Adrian said, avoiding the topic of Deran’s fucked up family.  That never went anywhere good.

“Sure, no problem,” Deran said, holding his hands out placatingly.  

“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” Adrian sighed.  “How do I even know you didn’t steal the thing?”

“I didn’t.  It had no collar or tags.  Brought it to the vet, and it’s not chipped either.  Owner probably just figured no one would notice if they dumped it there.”

Adrian clenched his fists just thinking about the type of person who would do that to a puppy.  

“The vet gave it its shots, and it doesn’t have fleas, so you’re all set.”

“You didn’t have to do all this,” Adrian said, suddenly realizing how much money Deran had put into the crazy plan.  

“Don’t worry about it,” Deran waved him off.

“Did you buy it any food?” Adrian once again changed the subject.  Deran had already answered his interrogation. Adrian wasn’t going to keep pushing.

“Yeah, it’s out in the truck.  Come help me with the rest of the stuff?”

“The rest of it?”

“Yeah, I bought a bed too,” Deran told him.

“You’ve lost it,” Adrian told him, turning and falling into step with Deran.  Their shoulders bumped as they walked, but neither of them took the required step to separate.

 


	2. Scout

It shouldn’t have been this easy to fall into a routine.  Deran wasn’t exactly known for being dependable when it came to anything but fucking things up.  Since Deran stopped competing then went to prison, he had a whole host of fuck-ups where Adrian was concerned.

However, despite Deran’s track record, he’d been keeping their agreement and being very helpful when it came to the dog.  He watched the puppy during the day, walked it a couple of times, made sure it was fed regularly. Kept it away from his brothers and their volatility.

Deran might have claimed the puppy was a guard dog, but it was completely docile when Deran showed up randomly, which he didn’t actually do all that often. He was clearly still wary of destroying their tentative friendship again.  Adrian couldn’t be caught off guard though because the puppy scratched at the door until he let Deran in, no matter the hour.

Adrian hadn’t named the pup immediately, and Deran liked to give him shit for it.  It was clearly a safe topic that didn’t involve any of their sordid history. In many ways, the puppy was a symbol of their fresh start.

Deran called it something new every time he saw it, and the names grew increasingly obscure, quietly showing that Deran was better read than anyone gave him credit for. No one ever talked about Deran's intelligence despite how often he missed school. Smurf hadn't needed a smart son when Deran had come along; she'd needed a grunt to do as she told and ask no questions. So, that's what Deran had been satisfied with being until he realized he'd wanted more, and it thrilled Adrian to see that shine through.

Deran often threatened to name the dog while Adrian was at work and get the dog used to the name while Adrian had no say.  He didn’t though, which was just another sign that something had shifted inside of Deran Cody.

“Dude, open up.  Waves are awesome right now,” Deran shouted through the door while Adrian was still half asleep.  He still had twenty minutes before his alarm reminded him that it was time to walk the dog. Unfortunately, Deran had not gotten the memo.

Being just past sunrise, Adrian made the assumption that Deran had not slept at all.  The bar wouldn’t have closed until late, and Adrian couldn’t imagine Deran dragging himself out of bed at dawn after closing the bar.  

“Scout, shut up,” Adrian groaned, pulling his own heavy body out of bed.  Despite a solid six hours, Adrian didn’t feel entirely rested. Between classes, shifts at the shop, the puppy, and catching waves when he could Adrian was spread a little thin.

Adrian ran his fingers through his hair as he walked through the house in nothing but a low-slung pair of sweatpants.  They may have even been Deran’s. He’d left his fair share of clothes over the years which Adrian hadn’t bothered to give back.

Deran was wearing a sweatshirt with the hood pulled up over his head as he waited outside.  Adrian fumbled with the lock as he continued to try to wake himself up. Scout danced around his feet, bouncing excitedly after hearing Deran’s voice.

Adrian gently held the dog back with his leg as he opened the door.  Deran immediately opened the screen door and stepped inside.

“Took you long enough,” he muttered, reaching down to give Scout a scratch behind the ears as he stepped into the room.

“It's barely five thirty,” Adrian said, knowing it would make no difference to Deran.  The man ran on his own schedule, whatever that was.

“Waves are great.  Thought we’d get out there before the crowds,” Deran said, straightening back up and looking into Adrian’s eyes.

Adrian breathed out.  It never failed to feel like being held down by a twenty foot wave when he looked into Deran’s eyes.  It was like being hit by the full unforgiving pressure of Mother Nature, leaving him in awe of both its danger and beauty.

“I need to walk Scout,” Adrian said, turning away and wandering back toward his room.

“Scout?” Deran asked, sounding amused by the name Adrian had finally settled on.  “Like my fuckin’ truck?” he clarified, because he just couldn’t give Adrian a break after waking him up at five-thirty.

“It’s a good name for a dog,” Adrian played it off, picking a t-shirt out of the drawer.  

Deran leaned against the doorway watching him dress.  It was familiar but different. It wasn’t the rush to dress after an ill-advised hookup.  It was just Deran hanging around, waiting for him to get himself together.

“You’ve shot down like fifty names I suggested.  There’s more to it than, ‘it’s a good name for a dog.’ Don’t bullshit me,” Deran told him, folding his arms over his chest.

“Not right now,” Adrian told him, unwilling to let himself get any more off balance than he already felt this morning.

“I’ll walk Scout.  Take a shower and wake up.  You look like you’re going to wipe out if you keep stumbling around,” Deran said, reaching out to grip Adrian’s bicep.

“Nah, I can—”

“I know, but I’m offering,” Deran cut him off.

Adrian paused.  Deran wasn’t really one to offer.  He usually just told Adrian how things were going to be then went ahead with it.

“Fine, but I usually take my board and let him run until he gets worn out,” Adrian told him, stepping out of his room to grab Scout’s leash.

“That’s fine,” Deran agreed, picking up one of Adrian’s skateboards from against the wall.

Adrian watched Deran easily leash Scout and let him out the door.  He stood on the front steps while Deran easily started to skate away with Scout running beside him.  

Shaking his head, Adrian went back inside and got into the shower. He still didn’t know what to make of Deran. He’d done a good job of fucking Adrian up and ruining more than one attempt Adrian had made of having a healthy relationship afterward.  Not only the Dave situation, but Adrian had trouble letting his guard down around anyone since Deran. Strangely, he didn’t have that much trouble letting his guard down around Deran himself, despite all he’d done.

Since opening the bar, Deran had been working his way back into Adrian’s life again, but he was doing it at Adrian’s pace.

Adrian shuddered as the cool water rolled over his skin as it took some time to warm up.  He let the jolt wake him up a bit. It would be good to hit the waves with Deran. Even when things were rocky, they surfed well together.

* * *

Adrian sat down on the front steps with a joint and a cup of coffee while he waited for Deran to return with Scout.  He lit up after he placed the mug between his legs on the step. It took a long inhale and held it as he looked out into the early morning.

It was a perfect morning. The hazy wasn't too thick, and the light was all golden and warm. It was easy to let his mind wander as he waited for Deran and Scout. It was easy to forget.

Adrian was well into his joint by the time Deran came rolling back, Scout held securely in his arms.

“I think you’re supposed to let the dog walk.  That’s why they call it walking the dog,” Adrian said as Deran stepped off the board and picked it up.

“He ran out of gas about halfway home and refused to get up,” Deran said, leaning the skateboard against the step and shifting Scout in his arms.  

The puppy had grown even in the couple weeks it had been with Adrian, but it was still small enough that carrying it wasn’t a hassle. It was spoiled by how often both Deran and Adrian opted to pick him up.

“Dude, thanks for fuckin’ waiting for me,” Deran complained as Adrian took another toke.  Deran didn’t wait for a response, he put Scout down and bent until he was right in front of Adrian’s face.

Adrian glanced up at him before closing the distance, knowing exactly what Deran wanted him to do.  Their lips touched softly before they both opened their mouths, and Adrian breathed out. He pulled back slowly, still watching Deran as he held out the joint.

Deran had a relaxed look as he slowly breathed out.  “That brings back memories,” Deran said with a mischievous smile.

Adrian shook his head, but his mind had gone to the same place. Belize.  He remembered hazy mornings spent sharing breath and a near constant high.  Afternoons and evenings spent riding waves, and nights spent working out any last vestiges of energy they had by exploring each other’s bodies.  Everything was simpler then.

“I loaded up my board if you’re ready to go,” Adrian said, changing the subject before they could travel down memory lane again.  Belize was a long time ago. It was dangerous to keep living in that past.

“Yeah, just let me put Scout inside, and we can go,” Deran told him, placing the joint between his lips as he stepped back before opening the door for the dog.

Adrian got up and walked down to Deran’s truck.  Deran wasn’t far behind, and they rode in silence to one of their favorite spots.  

Things easily fell into place as they paddled out.  They’d been surfing together since they were kids. It came as naturally to them as breathing, and they synced up their strokes almost immediately.

“What’d I tell you?” Deran said as they watched the waves roll in.

“It’s not like I doubted you,” Adrian responded before ducking under a wave.  

Deran rolled his eyes as they popped up on the other side of the wave.  “You going to show me all those tricks you pull out in competitions or what?”

This time, it was Adrian’s turn to roll his eyes, but he stayed quiet.  He was still a little sore from the competition that threw him out of the QS.  He’d taken a nasty spill and got pounded into the reef below. He’d come up bloody, but more than anything his ego was heavily dinged. He’d made a stupid mistake because he’d been nervous, and he’d paid for it. It certainly wasn’t the way he wanted to end his competitive career.

“Hey, you still with me?” Deran called to him as he sat up on his board.

“Yeah, man.”  Adrian knew Deran would see right through and lie he told, so he kept it simple.  

“Noticed you’ve been favoring your right side,” Deran commented as they waited for a wave.  Not that there weren’t waves to catch, but it was a tradition of sorts to wait them out for a few minutes and just shoot the breeze together.

“It’s nothing,” Adrian said.  It really was. He was fully healed.  His habit to protect his right side was strictly psychological.  Sure, his body still ached a bit, but he was fine physically.

“Someone posted the video,” Deran said, splashing at the water lightly.

“I know.”

“Looked bad,” Deran commented, looking at him carefully.

“Looked worse than it was.”

“You got fucking cheese grated.  How is that not bad?”

“I made it to shore, nothing permanent.  It could’ve been a lot worse.”

“You don’t need to fuckin’ do that.”

“Do what?” Adrian asked, looking right into Deran’s eyes.

“Act tough.  I’ve seen your board come up and snap your collarbone and your nose, then watched your swim into shore.  I’m not going to think less of you because you got fucked up.”

Adrian shook his head.  “All you do is act tough, man. I wouldn't have made it a day being your friend if I didn't,” Adrian shot back.  He didn’t say that Deran failed to mention how Adrian had been bawling like a baby as he stumbled out of the surf with his arm hanging limp and blood pouring out of his nose.  He’d been fifteen, and Deran had dropped by every day for six weeks while Adrian had healed and been unable to surf. Deran had brought him little things with the money he’d gotten from jobs, like video games for them to play since that was about all Adrian was up for. And weed, Deran had insisted it was medicinal, but he wasn't fooling anyone.

“Fuck off,” Deran said, but he rubbed the back of his neck almost shyly.  

“I made a stupid mistake.  I cut it too hard, and it just rolled right over me like a freight train.  I probably could’ve kept competing, but it just made me think my time was up,” Adrian admitted.  “I sat in my hotel room for three days, thinking about when we used to compete together. How you’d get me to relax without even meaning to.”

“I just gave you enough weed to keep your nerves in check.” Deran shrugged, folding his arms over his chest.

“You know that's a bunch of shit.”

Deran gave him a hesitant smile, clearly feeling that they were treading into dangerous waters. Adrian could sense it too, and he wasn't sure this was a good idea. He wasn't sure either of them were ready.

“Well, suck it up because the waves are perfect today,” Deran said, lightening the mood he’d pushed to create.  

Adrian watched Deran turn his board and begin to paddle to catch a wave.  He waited there, watching Deran drop into the wave before cutting back into it.  Adrian loved to watch Deran surf almost as much as he loved surfing with him.

Before Deran even made his way back out, Adrian caught a wave of his own.  Soon enough, their conversation was forgotten, and they were both catching wave after wave.  

They were riding side by side on an easy ride when Adrian sensed Deran was going to make a move.  He was prepared when Deran launched himself off of his board and onto Adrian.

There was no way to keep his balance with Deran coming at him, no matter how prepared he was for it.  They both toppled off of his board as Deran wrapped himself around Adrian. They came up laughing, and Adrian didn’t hesitate to dunk Deran and hold him under for his attack.

They rode several more before Deran paddled in without saying a word.  Adrian wasn’t sure if he was hurt, so he started to paddle in as well. However, Deran dropped his board and jumped back into the water.  

“Tow me out,” Deran called as he swam out to Adrian.  Adrian let him grab hold and paddled them both back out.  

“You aren’t going to fit on this with me,” Adrian warned him, remembering when they were younger and would ride together for the fun of it.  They’d both filled out significantly since then, and he wasn’t even sure they’d be able to catch anything on it together.

“Fuck you, I will if you aren’t an asshole,” Deran said as Adrian sat up.  Deran pulled himself onto the board easily, straddling the board about a foot in front of Adrian.  The board sat low in the water, but it held them up. “Just one, okay?” Deran asked softly, glancing over his shoulder at Adrian.

“I’m dumping you if you ruin my ride,” Adrian threatened, but it was a complete lie.

“I’d like to see you try,” Deran teased, pointing out a wave for them to take.

They both knelt as they pointed the long board toward the shore.  They easily paddled, finding a common rhythm within a couple strokes.

Adrian was flooded with memories as they picked up enough speed to catch the wave.  Adrian’s slight weight advantage kept them from nose-diving and wiping out immediately.  

They rose in unison, and with only a moment or two of wobbling they found their balance together.  Like riding a bike, it came back easily, knowing exactly how to counter Deran’s weight with his own.  

Adrian didn’t even wobble as Deran turned around to face him as they coasted.  Deran had a big grin on his face, and Adrian couldn’t help returning it as they rode together.  Their eyes lingered on each other, and Adrian once again felt like he was trapped beneath the surface.

Deran broke the moment as he launched himself at Adrian again, knocking them both off of the board.

They paddled in after that, and Deran collected his own board and put it back in the truck before rolling them a joint and finding a place to rest on the beach.  

Adrian sat beside him, watching the waves as Deran lit the joint and took a couple puffs before handing it over.  Adrian watched Deran scratch his beard as he settled in. It was a tell of his. He was thinking about something.

“So...Scout?” Deran said after Adrian had let out a lungful of smoke.

Adrian sighed.  It wasn’t like he hadn’t planned on telling Deran the dog’s name.  Obviously, Deran was going to find out. Adrian just wasn’t sure how to explain it without sounding like an idiot.  He took another hit of the joint before formulating an answer.

“Remember when you were nineteen, and you’d won that competition up in…” Adrian squeezed his eyes closed trying to work through the cobwebs forming in his mind for the quiet town far enough from Oceanside that Deran hadn’t been afraid Smurf might actually show up to a competition and throw off his whole game.

“I remember the competition,” Deran said quietly, saving Adrian the mental hurdles.  

“You’d just gotten that stupid truck, and you’d insisted on driving us both up there. Craig had had some party to go to, and you convinced him to let you drop him off on our way up, so Smurf wouldn't know he'd bailed. It was your first time going without Craig, and you were nervous despite pretending you were fine,” Adrian continued.

“We got so high that first night,” Deran said, smiling at the memory.

“Yeah, we were lucky we made it to the competition at all.  But you ended up doing really well, and I bombed out with a couple bad rides.  After you’d won and we got back into your truck, you’d been so nervous.”

“I didn’t want to rub it in that I kicked your ass in that heat we’d faced off.  And I think I was a little nervous that you’d let me win the heat on purpose.”

Adrian laughed.  There had been nothing purposeful about how he’d frozen up after watching Deran take a monster of a first wave and just rip it up.  Yet, he didn’t blame Deran at all for his performance. He was always happy to see Deran do well.

“You won fair.  Anyway, I didn’t know how to make you relax, and we’d been completely out of weed and cash. I’d been into you forever at that point…”

“You fucking ended up kissing my fucking eye because I turned my head at the wrong moment,” Deran beat him to the punch.

Adrian smiled as Deran said it.  He’d been mortified at the time, terrified that Deran would reject him and leave him stranded, or worse, kick his ass. However, as soon as Deran had realized what he’d been attempting to do, he’d pulled Adrian in and given him a proper kiss.

Both of them had had kisses before.  Hell, by then, both of them had had sex before too, but it had felt like something new and special. Neither of them had been aggressive or demanding. It had been sweet and a bit timid, and it hadn’t gone any further than a few nervous pecks before they pulled away.

“I was so fucking pissed we were out of money for condoms and lube.”

“You ended up stealing it from a convenience store halfway down the coast anyway. For what good it did...” Adrian said, shaking his head.  He’d always known what Deran was, at least in the context of his family. He’d never looked down on or been afraid of Deran until they were adults, and it seemed like Deran’s world had closed in on him and made him as unpredictable as a wild animal.

“Did you name the fucking dog after the truck because we hooked up for the first time in the back seat?” Deran asked, sounding completely incredulous.

This was exactly why Adrian had been hesitant to tell Deran because no matter how Adrian tried to explain this, Deran would always think in the back of his mind that Adrian named the dog after their first kiss. The words _fagging it up at Pottery Barn_ came back to him suddenly, but Adrian shook it off.  Deran had shown growth since then.

“That’s like when people name their kids after where they conceived them,” Deran added, grimacing as he took another puff of the joint.

“I didn’t name the dog after the first place we kissed...or had sex,” Adrian said, grabbing the joint from Deran a little too forcefully to seem natural. Though the Scout had also been the first place they'd had sex, just not that night...not for lack of trying.

“ _Right_.” Clearly, Deran didn’t believe him.

Adrian took a lungful of smoke and held it before letting it out slowly. “Things changed on that trip...We’d been friends for years, but that moment in the Scout changed everything.  It was the start of something, and it wasn’t until Belize that it really became something, but when I think about us, I think about that competition and that kiss and how innocent it was.  There was no Smurf or your brothers. It was just us, and in a way this dog feels the same way. It feels like maybe it’s the start of something, and it isn’t tainted by all of our history,” Adrian admitted.

“Shit.” Deran scratched his scruffy jaw again, looking completely thrown.

“You can tell Craig we named Scout after the first place we had sex.  I won’t get mad,” Adrian said, trying to lighten the mood.

Deran laughed, but he still looked bowled over by Adrian’s words.  “I’m not trying to push my way into your life. I don’t...I don’t want you to be afraid of me,” Deran said, clearly still remembering that night after the party Craig had thrown.

“I know.  You’ve been different since you opened the bar, maybe before that…” Adrian trailed off, not needing to say he wouldn’t know since they hadn’t been speaking.  “It’s nice to see you like I remember, like you were that first time.”

Deran gave him a small smile.  Adrian half expecting him to lean in for a kiss.  He half wanted him to, but neither of them closed the distance.

“I can’t believe you named the dog after the car we had sex in,” Deran said, breaking the spell around them.

Adrian didn’t complain.  He just shook his head before stubbing out the joint in the sand.  “What can I say?” he asked with a shrug.

Deran laughed, but Adrian could see the emotion in his eyes.  Deran didn’t know what to do with the revelation, and Adrian had known that would probably be the case.  He’d named the dog Scout anyway because he was a symbol of something new and special between them. Maybe it _was_ like naming his kid after the place they were conceived, but Scout was a good name for a dog, and Adrian wasn’t changing it.

 


	3. Bending Unspoken Rules

Adrian gave Deran a key to his apartment.  Adrian wasn’t stupid, but he’d made his share of bad choices in life.  Most of them involved seeing and fucking Deran Cody even after things had turned bad.  However, handing over the key was more convenience than overt gesture of welcome.

Deran even put up a fight.  “You don’t have to give me a key, man.  I won’t come by without an invitation,” he promised, even though they both knew that was a lie.  Deran _was_ trying, but sometimes it was better to stop by at sunrise than to call Adrian at sunrise then stop by.

“Just take it.  It’s easier if you need to pick Scout up or drop him off, and I can’t get out of work,” Adrian told him.  He’d put a lot of thought into what it meant to give Deran a key. More than anything, it just made things easier with them both looking after the dog.  

“I don’t want to intrude.”

Now, those were words that Adrian never thought he’d hear out of Deran’s mouth, but he had been full of surprises these last few weeks.

“You’re not intruding if I gave you a key,” Adrian assured him.

“What if you’ve got someone over?” Deran asked, running his fingers through his hair.

Adrian shrugged.  “I’m not seeing anyone if that’s what you’re getting at.”

“I didn’t ask.  Just don’t want to walk in if you’re screwing someone.”

“I’ll leave a sock on the front door.”

“You’re being ridiculous,” Deran retorted.

“Because you’re not going to walk in on me screwing anyone.  Between work, school, the dog, and the waves I don’t even have the time or energy to jerk off.”  Adrian couldn’t believe this was a conversation he was having. “Just take the damn key. I trust you not to abuse having it, and you have to trust me that you aren’t going to walk in on a drug fueled orgy.”

Deran laughed.  It started as just a rumble in his chest, but then he was bent over cackling at Adrian’s words, practically wheezing.  “Taking notes from Craig?” Deran asked between bouts of laughter.

Adrian would’ve been insulted if the suggestion hadn’t been so completely against his personality.

“God, you barely even smoke anymore.  How the hell would you have a drug fueled orgy?”  Deran asked, straightening up and wiping the tears from his eyes.  His smile was wide and teasing.

“Take the key,” Adrian said, holding out the freshly cut key.

Deran finally took it, and he pulled out his key ring and placed it on there between the key to The Drop and the key to his car.  “I won’t use it if you’re home,” Deran promised.

“I trust you.” Adrian was hoping that if he kept saying it, he'd being to believe it, or maybe Deran would be guilted into not abusing that trust.

“You shouldn’t.”

“Probably not, but I can’t live in fear either.” Adrian shoved his hands into pockets, letting his shoulders fold in. He hated how conversations with Deran always tore down his confidence. The ground they tread was so unsteady, it was impossible to know if any step was a safe one.

Deran cursed under his breath, but he pulled Adrian into a hug, thumping him on the back several times before stepping away. Adrian's hands were trapped at his sides, but that didn't stop the settling feeling that Deran's arms created. Long before they'd become physically involved, Deran had been his best friend and the one to steady him when things set him off balance.  

“Since I’m here, I can take Scout now if you don’t want to stop by on the way to the shop.”

“Thanks man,” Adrian said, walking back toward the bedroom he’d closed Scout in while he cleaned up a bit.  Puppies were messy even when mostly house trained, and Adrian felt like he was always behind when it came to making sure the house wasn’t a disaster.

Deran opened the bedroom door, and picked up Scout as the puppy rushed him.  It had only been a month, but Scout was twice as big as when Deran had left him on Adrian’s doorstep.

Adrian still believed the dog had some Pit in him, but Scout was longer and leaner than a full Pit.  He also had a longer muzzle. Scout was going to be a substantial dog when he was finished growing. He might have even made a good guard dog if he wasn't so docile.

Scout was ridiculously affectionate. Some days, Adrian blamed it on the fact that he had Adrian's full attention half the day and Deran's the other half. He was clearly spoiled, but even so he nosed his way into cuddles on the couch, the bed, at the breakfast table. Forget guard dog, Scout was better suited to therapy animal.

“I’ll see you later,” Deran said, clipping the leash to Scout’s collar before holding the puppy up to give Adrian a couple licks before they left.

Adrian scratched behind Scout’s ears as the dog bathed his chin and cheek in slobber.  “Later,” Adrian said, addressing Scout more than Deran.

Deran just shook his head, still smiling as he walked away from Adrian.  “You should have a beer when you pick him up later.”

Adrian didn’t say anything.  He wasn’t committing to getting drinks at The Drop.  They were on good terms. They surfed almost daily. They were making it work with Scout.  But despite Adrian’s insistence that he couldn’t live in fear, he was afraid of letting Deran get too close.  He was afraid that he’d easily fall for Deran again, and that was dangerous no matter how much Deran had changed.

Adrian could still predict the rain because his ribs ached where Deran had broken them over a year ago. It was easy to forget when they lived in a place that rarely saw much rain, but it came back to him on the QS. They'd be competing somewhere tropical, and suddenly his ribs would ache insistently.

It was all too easy to forget history when his present was full of puppy slobber and easy surfing, but it was dangerous to forget.

* * *

Adrian was sitting at his desk watching surfing videos as was his average nightly ritual.  The time had gotten away from him as he watched old tapes of him and Deran competing. Scout was asleep on the bed, chasing something in his dreams because every time Adrian glanced at him, his hind leg was going.

Scout had been a ball of energy half of the night, demanding Adrian shower him in attention and play with him until, like the flick of a switch, he’d flopped on Adrian’s bed and not moved since.  Adrian could admit that the dog distracted him from morose introspection.

Adrian didn’t hear the knock at the door at first.  He was listening to the music someone had set the video of Deran winning a heat to. However, Scout was fully alert in a second, bounding off of the bed and out off the room before tearing back into the room and drawing Adrian’s attention with a bark.

The sudden noise and movement spooked Adrian as he tore off the headphones and spun around. His arms came up defensively, but no one was there. Scout was already dashing out of the room again, and Adrian followed him cautiously.

As he stepped down the hall, he picked up a skateboard where he’d leaned it against the wall.  He didn’t really have anything to use as a weapon, so this would have to do.

Scout was still dancing around excitedly when the knock came again, and Adrian immediately recognized it as Deran’s.  Frowning, Adrian checked his phone for the time.

“It’s past three.  What are you doing here?” Adrian asked, opening the door without hesitation despite how spooked he felt.

Deran looked up from the sidewalk he was staring at.  He was wearing a hoodie that Adrian was pretty sure had once belonged to him.

“Can I come in?” Deran asked without offering any sort of explanation.

“It’s three in the morning,” Adrian repeated.  Deran had been so good about giving him space and not showing up and making demands.

“Had a long night, thought maybe I’d take Scout for a late walk,” Deran said, like it was completely reasonable to show up at Adrian’s apartment and ask to walk his dog in the middle of the night.

Adrian opened the door for him, but he knew he shouldn’t.  He should've left Deran outside and turned the deadbolt, but he didn’t.  

Scout was all over Deran as soon as he stepped inside, like the puppy hadn’t just seen him a matter of hours ago.  “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come, but…” Deran trailed off, either without a good reason for his actions or too tired to lie about it.  

“It’s not a good idea to get him used to late night walks unless you plan to do this every night.  I’m trying to keep him to a manageable routine,” Adrian said, keeping things about business. Well, about the dog which was a lot like business.

“Sorry, I can go,” Deran said even as he slowly knelt down to greet Scout. His tone was submissive, head ducked the way he would always get when he knew Adrian was right, but he didn't know how to deal with it. Or when he needed something, but he was either too afraid to ask or didn't even know exactly what he needed from Adrian.

The puppy excitedly licked at Deran’s face and bounced around him. It was in the pup’s excited dance that Deran’s hood got pushed off, and Adrian got a good look at his face and things made more sense.

“What the hell happened to you?” Adrian asked when he realized that Deran’s right eye was practically swollen shut, and the whole side of his face was cut and bruised.  It was as he took a closer look that he noticed that Deran’s knuckles were scraped up as well.

Adrian saw flashes of his own face after the beating he took at Deran and J's hands. He flinched as his hand immediately drifted to cover his ribs which had healed completely a year before. Then his heart twisted at seeing Deran in similar condition.

“Job didn’t go as expected.  I’m fine,” Deran told him, petting Scout like he wasn’t falling apart in Adrian’s living room in the middle of the night.

“Where else are you hurt?” Adrian asked, pulling himself together. He mentally went over how much money he had if he needed to take Deran to the hospital.

“I’m fine.” Deran’s lie was almost immediately exposed when Scout accidentally nudged Deran in the ribs with his nose.  “Fuck,” Deran cursed, reaching for his right side. He didn't raise his hand aggressively toward Scout or even nudge the dog away. One hand still pet the animal affectionately while the other protected him from further pain.

Adrian was once again bombarded by memories of his own injuries.  He remembered how painful it had been just to breathe those first few days, and how he’d still dragged himself to work because he had a four thousand dollar medical bill.  

“I should go,” Deran said, slowly getting to his feet again.  

Adrian could see that he was really favoring his right side now.  “You can take Scout for a walk if you want,” Adrian offered.

“I don’t want to fuck up your schedule.”

“It’s just one night, and you look like you could use it,” Adrian told him. He wanted to do more. He wanted to get a look at Deran's ribs or insist he see a doctor, but this was likely all Deran would allow. So if walking Scout meant that Deran wouldn't be going back to sit in his bar alone, then Adrian would let him do it.

“Thanks,” Deran said, looking down at the floor between them.

Adrian took Scout’s leash off the hook by the door and handed it to Deran.  “Just use your key to let him back in when you’re done,” Adrian said as Deran clipped the leash to Scout’s collar.

Deran scratched at his beard for a moment.  “Come with us?” he asked tentatively.

Adrian weighed his choices.  On one hand, it was three in the morning, and now that he was aware of that he was exhausted.  On the other, Deran looked like he might not make it down the steps in his current condition never mind through a whole walk.

“Let me grab a hoodie,” Adrian said quietly.  He didn’t wait for Deran’s response before going to his room and grabbing his oversized white hoodie.  

Deran was still standing there when Adrian came back out, but he looked even more tired than Adrian felt. Deran led the way out the door without another word, and Adrian fell into step with him as Scout quickly took point.

They’d never walked Scout together despite their arrangement, but it felt natural to walk with the dog between them.  

“Is everyone else okay?” Adrian asked softly as they walked along the sidewalk. Adrian had known about Deran's family and their crimes for almost as long as he'd known Deran. Still, he never asked about what they'd done or if they were alright. He may have liked Craig, but Deran's whole family contributed to making Deran what he was. They all took part in shaping him, and Deran was only just now beginning to break free of that mold.

“Yeah.  Nothing serious,” Deran told him, and Adrian didn’t call him on just how seriously banged up he looked.

This was part of being friends with Deran.  Even when they’d been kids, sometimes Deran would show up all messed up.  Sometimes his older brothers had just been a little too rough, but other times a job had gone a little sideways, and Deran had born the brunt of it.

They were quiet for a few minutes as they walked, pausing only when Scout stopped to investigate a hydrant or a part of a building.  

Adrian was left with his own thoughts which wandered to the months after Deran had stopped competing. Deran had been reckless and angry back then. He’d pushed Adrian away any time Adrian showed any sort of concern. Adrian had still been doing the QS, so he hadn’t been around for the worst of it. By the time he’d come back, Deran had been locked away for stealing a car.

“You still want out?” Adrian asked.  

“Yeah, just need to pay the bills first,” Deran told him.

Adrian could hear the honesty in those words.  He just hoped, for Deran’s sake, that he got out before he got caught or worse.

“You still taking classes?” Deran asked him.  Deran knew he was, but that wasn’t the point. He was talking about their conversation at his bar.

“Yeah, still hoping to get out before I’m sixty,” Adrian said, waiting for Scout to sniff at the hubcap of a car.  

Deran nodded, gently guiding Scout to turn back toward Adrian’s house.  Adrian just followed along.

They didn’t talk on the way back.  It was late, and Deran was never a huge talker to begin with, so Adrian just let the silence hang between them.  It wasn’t like it was uncomfortable or anything.

“Sorry I—”

“Don’t,” Adrian said.  Apologies weren’t going to change anything, and Adrian would rather that Deran came here to walk Scout than get stoned out of his mind.  “Let me get you ice for your face, okay?” he said, opening the front door.

Deran looked hesitant as he let Scout into the house.  “I should just—”

“Stay.”  Adrian didn’t clarify if he was asking Deran to stay for ice, stay for the night, or just to stay right there while Adrian figured his own jumbled thoughts out.  The single word hung between them like a lead weight.

“I don’t want to intrude,” Deran said, scratching at his beard again.  If Adrian didn’t know the tick from years of being friends with Deran, he would have thought he’d caught fleas from Scout from how many times he’d done it tonight.

“I told you to stay.  It’s not intruding,” Adrian said, holding the door open and waiting for Deran to enter before him.

Deran sighed, but he went inside.  He followed Adrian to the kitchen and leaned against the counter as Adrian dug through the freezer for the numerous ice packs he had stashed there for times he got beat up on the waves.  Upon finding a couple, he dropped them on the counter and turned to Deran.

Without saying a word, Adrian grabbed the hem of Deran’s sweatshirt and pulled it up over his head.  Deran cursed under his breath, but he didn’t fight Adrian. The t-shirt beneath the hoodie was a mess, and Deran’s arms were bruised and scraped.

“Let me clean these,” Adrian said, looking at the dirt around several of the cuts.  

“If you let me use your shower, I’ll save you the trouble,” Deran said, shrugging like it was no big deal.

“Go ahead.  I’ll grab you a towel.”  Adrian once again found himself thinking of the past, but this wasn’t the same.  Deran wasn’t washing off the smell of their sex, so he could run back home to Smurf.  He was cleansing himself of the demons Smurf had raised inside of him.

Adrian didn’t hover in the bathroom.  In fact, he didn’t so much as step into the doorway while Deran cleaned himself.  Adrian sat on his bed with Scout in his lap, using the dog to comfort himself and sooth the worries he felt for Deran.

Scout was delighted to receive constant affection while they waited for Deran to reappear, and despite how energetic he'd been when Deran arrived, he was soon snoozing in Adrian's lap.

“Your water pressure is still shit,” Deran said, stepping into Adrian’s bedroom in nothing but a towel.  

Adrian sucked in a breath, not because he was faced with a mostly naked Deran, but because Deran’s whole torso was a bruised mess.  

“Sorry, my clothes...Can I borrow a pair of sweats?” Deran asked, glancing down at himself.  

“Help yourself,” Adrian said, pointing to the chest of drawers.  Deran knew where everything was. Adrian should’ve let Deran just go home.  This was a terrible idea, but Adrian just couldn’t let Deran go back to The Drop, injured and alone.

Deran pulled out a pair of sweatpants and slowly pulled them on before walking over to the bed and sitting down beside Adrian.  “I’m just going to go lie down on the couch,” Deran said softly.

“Just get in bed,” Adrian told him.  They’d never really shared a bed before.  They’d used the bed for plenty of things, just not its main purpose.  They’d shared sleeping bags through. They’d shared the back seat of the Scout and the bed of a couple trucks.  They’d shared countless blankets on the beach, all long before they’d ever fucked each other.

They’d never seen a problem with curling up together and passing out between heats or to catch some rest between sessions on the waves. Long before either of them had ever explored their sexuality, they’d often forgotten where one of them ended and the other began because they’d always been so close. It was why it was still so hard to cut ties with each other.

“I’m fine,” Deran said even as he gingerly got beneath the covers.  

“Scout sleeps on the bed because he’s spoiled, so don’t be alarmed if he steps on you in your sleep or wakes you up with kisses,” Adrian told him, getting settled on his own side of the bed.

Deran didn’t say anything, but after a while his hand slipped through the space between them and found Adrian’s wrist.  Deran wrapped his fingers around Adrian’s wrist without a word, and Adrian let him.

Scout was settled between them, but nothing broke their small connection as they both dozed off.  

“Thanks,” Deran’s voice was barely a whisper, but Adrian was just awake enough to hear it over the sound of Scout’s breathing.

 


	4. Inroads

Adrian only got about an hour of sleep before something woke him.  He wasn’t sure what it was because Scout was still curled up at his side.  As Adrian rolled over, he realized the other half of the bed was empty.

Glancing around the room, Deran was nowhere to be found.  Slowly, Adrian sat up, careful not to jostle Scout.

Why couldn’t Deran just sleep?  Why did he have to always run out on Adrian even when they weren’t fucking?  

Adrian pulled on the sweatshirt he’d left beside the bed.  He left it hanging open as he stepped out of the room. A look in the bathroom found it to be empty.  Adrian continued through the house with little luck until he saw the front door ajar.

Opening the door, Adrian found Deran sitting on the step smoking a joint.

“I figured you'd left,” Adrian whispered, opening the door and taking a seat beside Deran.

“Hard to sleep with bruised ribs,” Deran said softly, offering Adrian the joint.

“I know.”  Adrian took the offering and took a deep inhale from it.  He held it in as he passed it back.

“I’m sorry.” Deran's head hung low, avoiding eye contact.

“What happened to you?” Adrian asked, avoiding the emotional mine fields of their past, not that Deran was ever keen to talk about his family either.

Deran was quiet for a long time, and Adrian assumed he was going to get a bullshit answer if he got one at all.

“I swerved to avoid someone.  Ended up rolling the van down an embankment.  Nearly cost us the job, but it worked out,” Deran said, rubbing the back of his neck as he took another inhale.

Adrian didn’t bother to mention that Deran could have easily been killed.  Deran could easily be killed in any of their jobs. It was part of the thrill if Adrian was being completely honest with himself.  

“You should really ice your face.”

“I’ll be fine.  Just wanted to mellow out, see if that helps me get some sleep,” Deran said, offering over the joint again.

Adrian shook his head.  “Just lock the door when you come back in,” he said, pushing himself up again.

Deran nodded his head bringing the dwindling joint back to his lips.  Adrain stepped into the house and went back to his bedroom. There was no point in attempting to talk sense into Deran.  There were over twenty years of Smurf’s fucked up influence to contend with, and Adrian couldn’t change that with a late night conversation.

Adrian wasn’t in bed long, before he heard Deran come back inside.  He puttered around in the kitchen for a while before coming to the bedroom.  Adrian didn’t say anything as Deran carefully climbed back into bed.

Glancing across the space between them, Adrian caught Deran placing one of the ice packs on his face as he laid down on his back.

Adrian rolled over, showing Deran his back.  “Don’t fall asleep with that on your face,” Adrian said, waiting for sleep to claim him again.

“Doubt I have to worry about falling asleep at all,” Deran responded.

* * *

Unsurprisingly, it was Scout that woke them in the morning.  Despite having been walked only a couple hours earlier, Scout was awake and ready to play before Adrian’s alarm.  

Adrian was too tired to really think about whether Deran’s presence was to blame for the early morning excitement.  Honestly, it didn’t really matter. The dog was awake and anything short of their undivided attention was not going to cut it.

Scout’s wet nose insistently poked at Adrian’s cheek before disappearing to presumably do the same to Deran’s.  A loud curse from Deran’s side of the bed confirmed Adrian’s suspicion.

“Keep your fuckin’ tongue to yourself,” Deran said, though his words didn’t have much heat to them.

Adrian rolled over to find Deran holding Scout over his head just out of reach, so his face was safe from Scout’s enthusiastic licks.  The dog wiggled in Deran’s grasp, trying to get closer to him.

“I’ll take him for his walk,” Adrian said, reaching over and scooping Scout right out of Deran’s arms.  It wasn’t as easy to one arm the pup as it was when he first got him, but Adrian managed. He pulled Scout to his chest, preventing the dog from escaping to harass Deran some more.

“I can do it.  Not going to get any more sleep like this,” Deran offered, sitting up before Adrian could.  

Adrian didn’t give him a half-assed excuse about his schedule this time.  He just looked at Deran sharply. “Going to skate after him with a couple bruised ribs and a concussion?”

“I’m fine.”

Adrian just snorted as he got up and carried Scout of the bedroom.  “Rest, even if you can’t sleep,” Adrian ordered, leaving little room for argument.

“I’m fucking fine,” Deran shouted after him.  

“I heard you the first six times,” Adrian called back as he clipped Scout’s leash to his collar and picked up his skateboard.  

“Fuck you!”

Adrian laughed as he ushered Scout out the door.  It felt good to be able to tease Deran instead of everything being so heavy between them.  

Walking Scout in the morning wasn’t a hardship.  Sometimes Adrian ran beside the energetic puppy, and other times he skated.  Either way, it was a great way to clear his head of the last vestiges of sleep and prepare himself for catching some waves afterward.  

Scout loved their morning runs as well.  He didn’t bother to stop to investigate everything, instead keeping a steady pace beside Adrian until he wore himself out.  

Like Deran, Adrian let Scout run until he gave up.  If that meant running or skating the last quarter of the loop with Scout in his arms, Adrian didn’t mind.  It kept Scout from getting anxious in the house while Adrian surfed. The dog usually napped until Adrian dropped him at Deran’s place.  

This morning, Scout didn’t last nearly as long as most days, and Adrian knew it was because of the late-night walk they’d taken.  Adrian hopped off his board as Scout started to slow down, and he let the tired dog sniff around the area and do his business.

When Scout sat down on the pavement with no intention of getting back up, Adrian lifted him into his arms.  “I told him he’d throw you all off,” he said as he let Scout lick his chin and neck. Adrian held the animal securely as he stepped back onto his board and pushed off toward home.  

By the last quarter-mile, Scout was squirming and ready to go again.  So, Adrian put him down and let him run the last leg of the trip. He kept his speed slower as Scout loped beside him, panting happily.

Adrian let his mind wander, thinking about how much his life had changed since getting Scout while still remaining generally the same.  

His life seemed more settled with Scout in it.  Even before Scout showed up on his doorstep, Adrian had known that his competitive career was close to over.  Maybe he’d do some local competitions, but he wasn’t going to be doing tours anymore. It had felt like there had been a hole in his chest when he’d come back from that last competition, but he didn’t notice it anymore.

It hadn’t been all that long, but Scout gave him something to focus on that wasn’t surfing.  It was hard to think about anything else when his entire life revolved around surfing. He woke up, he surfed, he went to work, he made boards, he came home, he watched surf videos.

Now though, he walked Scout, fed him, played with him, talked to him when he got sick of his own thoughts.  Maybe it was a little pathetic, but Adrian felt a little less hopeless.

Scout’s tail was wagging a mile a minute as they stopped in front of Adrian’s place.  If it hadn’t been for Deran’s injuries, Adrian would have just unleashed the dog in the house and let Deran experience just how crazy an excited puppy could be. Though, Adrian had no doubt that Scout was an excited mess when he was with Deran during the day.

Instead of letting Scout off the leash and into the house as usual, he lifted Scout into his arms, so he could make sure that the bedroom door was closed. Scout may not have been fully grown, but it wouldn’t feel good to have him standing on any busted ribs.

Adrian didn’t really hear any noise coming from the bedroom, and he wondered if Deran had actually managed to fall back to sleep. He hoped, for Deran's sake, that he was able to get some rest. Deran wasn't one to slow down just because he was injured, and Adrian had no doubt that he'd head to work today despite the events of the night before. He'd seen him do it at competitions countless times, either coming there hurt or not sleeping and still performing well.

His thoughts were halted, however, when he came to the bedroom doorway to find Deran lying on his back with the covers thrown off, stroking himself with his eyes closed.

Adrian stood frozen for a moment, not expecting to find Deran jerking off in his bedroom.  Adrian didn’t really blame him. It was just a surprise. A surprise that brought back a lot of memories.

“You have shitty timing,” Deran’s voice was strained, but he didn’t stop what he was doing, didn’t even open his eyes.

“We were gone for forty-five minutes,” Adrian defended himself.  It wasn’t like he meant to walk in on Deran. Hell, it was _Adrian’s_ bedroom.  He had every right to walk in whenever the hell he pleased.

“I dozed off,” Deran said through gritted teeth.  

“You’re lucky I didn’t let Scout just run in,” Adrian said, peeling himself away from the door and closing it.  A significant part of him wanted to stay and watch. It wouldn’t be the first time that they’d watched each other masturbate.  Sometimes when they were too high to coordinate anything more complicated, they’d just sit or lie next to each other and jerk off together.  They’d done plenty of that in their teens, long before they ever touched each other. Surf, smoke, jerk off. They’d never thought anything of it. He even did it at Deran's house in the beginning. Deran would steal Craig's or Baz's stash of porn, and they'd watch it in his room.

Another part of Adrian wanted to offer to help Deran out.  He knew he shouldn’t want that after everything that had happened.  A few sweet kisses didn’t mend the things that were broken between them, but Adrian couldn’t help his body’s reaction to Deran. It was so ingrained. He still wanted him. He still got hard at the thought of touching him.

Adrian shook his head, pushing those thoughts away. “I have to feed Scout,” he said, turning away from the view of Deran tangled in his sheets, looking for once like he had no intention of going anywhere. Too little too late as always.

He carried Scout to the kitchen and busied himself with feeding the dog then making something for him and Deran to eat.  He stuck to a smoothie because he wasn’t sure what Deran would be up for after the night he’d had. He figured he might get Deran to drink something more easily than eat it, so he went through what fruits and vegetables he had in the refrigerator and threw some things in the blender.

“How far did you go this morning?” Deran asked, walking into the room, once again wearing Adrian’s sweatpants.

“A couple miles, why?” Adrian asked, shrugging his shoulders.

“You’re drenched,” Deran said, leaning against the counter and rubbing Scout’s exposed belly with his foot.

“Scout crapped out halfway through.  Carried him most of the way home,” Adrian said, hitting the button on the blender and waiting for the drink to mix.

Deran cursed at the sudden loud noise, and Adrian laid off it.  “Sorry.”

“No, I’m fine,” Deran insisted, reaching over to press Adrian’s finger down on the button.  He gritted his teeth, but he didn’t let up until the drink was blended completely.

“You should see a doctor,” Adrian told him, knowing his words would do nothing to change Deran’s mind.

“Just leave it. I'm okay.”

Okay for a Cody wasn’t really okay for anyone else.  Adrian had seen Deran in rough shape before, and he’d heard about the time Craig had gotten shot on a job and had to be taken down to Mexico to have it drained when it didn't heal right.  

So, Adrian wasn't exactly convinced when Deran told him that he was okay. It just meant he wasn't dead, but that didn't mean he couldn't be soon.

“Sorry about before,” Adrian apologized, more to have something to say than because he actually was sorry.

“It's your place,” Deran said, showing no hint of shyness or shame. Deran had never been shy, but the man knew shame, and it was good to see him stepping away from that. Adrian wished that he could've overcome it before everything hit the fan. He'd missed this version of Deran over the last few years.

“Look, I've got a bunch of jobs lined up at the shop today, so I might stay late. You mind dropping Scout here before you open if that happens?” Adrian asked, a little afraid that their arrangement was suddenly going to fall through.

“No problem. Just text me if you think you'll be late,” Deran said, taking a gulp of the smoothie Adrian poured him.

“Will do.”

They lapsed into silence as they both drank their smoothies. Neither seemed to want to break the tentative bond they were forming by saying the wrong thing. Even Scout was quiet as he laid on the floor between them, happily letting them rub him with their feet.

Adrian only realized this when both of their feet collided over Scout's belly.

“Sorry,” he said, pulling his foot back, but Deran hooked it with his own, running his foot up and down the back of Adrian's calf.

“Don't,” he said simply, going back to rubbing Scout without another word.

Adrian tried to fight the shiver that ran down his spine, but it was no use. He looked away from Deran as he slowly moved his foot back to Scout, trying to ignore the way their feet gently brushed every so often.

It was too much, too simple. They weren't in Belize anymore, and it was dangerous to think anything way simple between them, but it was too nice to stop. So, they sat together, quietly petting the dog lying between them beneath the table like this wasn't the picture of domesticity.

 


	5. A Drink

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating has gone up.

Adrian ended up finishing late, but not as late as he expected. A couple of the jobs weren't as involved as he'd originally thought they'd be, and the blank he was shaping was cooperating, so the work went faster than it could have.

Feeling accomplished after the long day, Adrian decided to swing by The Drop despite Deran texting him to let him know he'd dropped Scout off at Adrian's apartment for him. He ignored the fact that he was covered in sweat and board particles. It wasn't like Deran wasn't used to that.

Deran had been telling him for weeks to stop by for a beer. Adrian never took him up on it because he saw Deran every day anyway, and it wasn't convenient to have a beer with Deran while Scout was wandering around the bar waiting to go home.

Not to mention, a beer was different than what they'd been doing until a couple days ago. Having a beer implied talking and catching up. Despite seeing each other every day and surfing regularly, Deran and Adrian didn't talk all that much about personal matters.

Adrian was keeping his distance, still not entirely sure that Deran could make so many changes to his life in such a short amount of time. Adrian wanted to trust Deran again. He wanted to have his best friend back. If he was being entirely honest with himself, he wanted his lover back too. He just couldn't take that risk unless he was completely certain.

However, Deran had been proving himself regularly. He never complained about taking Scout. He didn't intrude on Adrian's life or act controlling. Despite having the key to Adrian's place, he kept his promise to knock if Adrian was home. He came to Adrian, or maybe to Scout, when he was hurting, and he didn't lash out. Deran was different, and maybe it was time to lighten up a little and take a risk.

Adrian got in his old station wagon and slowly drove over to The Drop. It was pretty dead when Adrian walked in. The waves were still good, and there was plenty of light in the sky, so the bar probably wouldn't fill up for a few more hours. There was one guy sitting at the bar and a pair sitting at one of the tables in the corner. Heather was behind the bar, but there was no sign of Deran.

“What can I get you?” Heather asked as Adrian stepped up to the corner of the bar.

“Is Deran here?” he asked, looking around once more in case he'd just missed him. The bar was eclectic to say the least. Deran had managed to get rid of the worst of the crass fixtures, but between the broken boards and the multicolored lights, the place had a busy look, and it was easy to get lost in that vibe.

“He's handling some business in the back,” she said smoothly.

“Oh.” Adrian hadn't really accounted for Deran being indisposed. Obviously, Deran had responsibilities when it came to running the place, and Adrian was usually sensitive to that sort of thing since he ran his own shop. He'd just been so deep in his own head that he hadn't thought about Deran having to get things done while business was slow.

“You going to wait him out...”

“Oh, um. I don't know, but I'll have a beer,” he said distractedly. Thankfully, he had enough sense to remember the beer Deran always served him, so he wasn't fumbling around like an idiot trying to remember the label, or worse, stuck ordering a Bud to prevent embarrassment.

“He probably won't be too long. He never is,” she said, and Adrian couldn't decipher the meaning of that comment. It definitely sounded like there was more to it than what was on the surface, but Adrian really had no clue.

Adrian continued to glance around as he sipped his beer. He was proud of what Deran had done with the place. He remembered how excited Deran had been that opening night. Adrian had felt that pure energy coming off of him in waves as he explained how he'd managed it without Smurf's help. For a moment, it had been like they were back in Belize, Deran so stoked to have done something his brothers hadn't, feeling so completely free if only for a little while.

“ _Shit look at this place,” Deran said, opening the door to the apartment they were going to be sharing with four other people._

“ _Deran, if this is a shithole by my standards, it has to be a shithole by yours,” Adrian said, stepping inside with his bags._

“ _It's ours.”_

“ _And Scott's, and Devin's, and Jenna's, and Benny's.”_

“ _But it isn't Smurf's,” Deran added._

“ _No, it's not Smurf's,” Adrian agreed. Adrian wasn't sure exactly what had gone down that led Deran to refuse to even step foot in his own apartment the week before they decided to come to Belize, but it couldn't have been good. He'd crashed on Adrian's sofa and refused to show his face at any of his usual haunts because he didn't want his brothers to come to drag him back._

_Deran didn't say anything as he dropped his bags in the room they'd agreed to share and turned to Adrian. He had a devilish look on his face as he approached Adrian._

“ _What?”_

_Deran grabbed his bags and tossed them onto the floor as well before grabbing Adrian. They wrestled each other briefly, both trying to get the upper hand, but Deran quickly went for his shirt, tugging the sweat-soaked garment up Adrian's chest. His lips were insistent as they came to press against Adrian's, demanding access and Adrian's complete attention._

_Adrian pushed Deran down onto the bed, which was little more than a cot. Deran didn't let go of him and pulled Adrian down with him. Adrian straddled his hips and tugged off Deran's shirt as well._

_They stared at each other, both their chests heaving. Then Deran bucked his hips and sent Adrian sprawling over him on the bed. They tugged each others pants off and became a tangle of limbs in their haste._

“ _Lube?” Adrian asked, grinding against Deran's hip while Deran sucked a bruise into his shoulder. Deran's cock was trapped between them leaking over their bellies._

“ _Pocket of my bag,” Deran groaned._

_Adrian pulled away with great difficulty and leaned off the bed enough to rummage through Deran's bag until he found a few travel sized bottles. He tossed them to Deran, hoping he could tell the lube apart from the shampoo._

_Deran glanced at them quickly before tossing one back in the direction of his bag. He gripped Adrian's hip and guided him to his hands and knees roughly. He wasted no time moving behind Adrian and pouring some of the lube onto this fingers._

_Adrian held his breath as Deran pressed the first finger into him, giving him little warning. Deran rubbed his palm up and down Adrian's back as he pressed one then two fingers into him to loosen him up._

_Neither of them said anything as Deran prepped him, and even as Deran slicked himself and lined himself up, the only sound was that of their heavy breathing. Deran let out a grunt as he slowly pushed inside, and Adrian gripped the sheets tightly._

_There was nothing sweet or gentle about it. Deran had the same frantic energy about him that he did back home, but both of them were more relaxed. No one was going to walk in on them and out Deran. Nothing that happened here was going to get back to Smurf. Even she didn't have that kind of power, and it made all the difference._

_Deran let out a string of curses as he wrapped an arm around Adrian's torso, anchoring them together as he rocked his hips. Adrian reached back with one hand and gripped Deran's hip, guiding his rough movements._

_Adrian removed his hand from Deran's hip and guided the hand Deran had around his waist down to his straining cock. Deran bit his shoulder, and Adrian lost it. He felt his orgasm roll through him, stealing his breath. He felt Deran tense behind him and knew he was following close behind._

_Deran rested his head against Adrian's back as they both caught their breath. Then he slowly pulled out and left the room. Adrian just collapsed on the bed and tried not to think about how stiflingly hot the room felt now._

_Deran came back a few minutes later with a towel and a couple bottles of water. He tossed one to Adrian before rubbing them both down with the towel. After which, he collapsed onto the bed beside Adrian even though it was far too hot for it to be comfortable to be so close to each other._

“ _I wish we could just stay here, away from everyone and all the bullshit back home,” Deran said as they both drifted off to sleep even though it was mid afternoon. Adrian didn't reply, knowing it could never happen and not wanting to burst the bubble yet._

The bar was different than Belize though. It was permanent. If Deran could keep his act together, he wouldn't have to give this up. And Adrian could see every bit of love Deran had put into the place. Deran had shed blood, sweat, and probably tears for this place, his real shot at freedom.

“Yo, Adrian, long time no see,” Craig's voice cut through Adrian's thoughts.

Adrian turned to see Craig walking in with his dealer, or maybe she was his girlfriend, judging by the way they were holding hands loosely. Adrian rose to greet Craig with a hug, nodding at the woman with him. He'd seen her around and on the beach enough to know her vaguely.

“Where's Deran?” Craig asked as he sat down beside Adrian.

“In the back,” Adrian said, shrugging his shoulders as he took a sip of his beer.

“And Scout?” Craig asked, grinning like he couldn't help himself. Deran had definitely told him they'd named him after the first place they fucked, or maybe not because if that was the case, Adrian half expected Craig to punch him for fucking in the car they shared.

“Home.”

“That dog, man,” Craig started. Adrian knew that Craig had a soft spot for dogs. He definitely could not take care of one any better than he could take care of himself, but he liked them.

“Craig just relates to the dog. They both drool in their sleep,” Renn said, smiling at Adrian from Craig's other side.

“Shut up,” Craig told her, but he sounded affectionate. It was a little strange to see Craig with his focus on one person instead of everyone in his vicinity.

They talked for a while. Craig asked about the QS, and Adrian mentioned how he'd bombed out of his last competition.

“Happens, man. You still tear it up around here though,” Craig said, with the same sort of subdued support he'd always give Deran when he fucked up a competition. It actually made Adrian feel better, knowing he gotten the same sort of response out of Craig as his favorite brother did, and there was no doubt that they were each other's favorite sibling.

Adrian was about to thank him when the office door opened. Deran stood in the doorway with another man, sharing a pretty heated kiss. Adrian felt everything freeze as he watched Deran run his hand down the man's arm before resting it at the guy's waist. He was vaguely aware of Craig cursing under his breath beside him, but he couldn't tear his eyes away from Deran.

It wasn't so much jealousy that turned sickeningly in Adrian's gut as the moment lingered. It was more regret. He shouldn't have just stopped by without letting Deran know. He shouldn't have been surprised that Deran was seeing someone...or someones. He shouldn't have expected that just because he still got a knot in his stomach when he thought about Deran, that Deran would feel the same. Deran had told him as much over the last beer they'd shared. He wasn't shy about mentioning how he'd fucked Mark Liston, and Adrian had been fine with that. Or at least, he'd thought he was fine with it. Sure, they'd shared a few kisses, but Adrian had made sure that was all. Deran was just being respectful of that boundary.

Basically, Adrian felt like an idiot.

Deran pulled away from the guy, smiling at him like he didn't have a care in the world who saw them, and that was really the killing blow for Adrian. A flash of that bathroom stall when J had walked in on them crossed his mind, and he almost knocked over his beer bottle with how violently he flinched. Adrian was happy that Deran could be open now, but to see the difference right in front of him was completely jarring.

“You okay, man?” Craig asked.

Adrian figured he must have looked awful because as far as he was aware, Craig didn't know about the restroom incident. Hell, Craig probably didn't know about Dave either. Adrian had narrowed that crime down to Pope because Pope knew how to keep his mouth shut and a straight face...unlike Craig. Pope also wouldn't have asked questions.

Craig wasn't the type to hurt someone, other than himself, without a reason, and Adrian had a feeling he would've told Deran off if it came to that. Not that Craig wasn't capable because they were all sickeningly capable of violence, but it wasn't Craig's style.

“I'm fine,” Adrian said, tearing his eyes away from Deran. It felt as hollow as it sounded when Deran said it earlier, but he managed a tight smile as he looked up into Craig's kind eyes.

When Adrian looked back at the office, Deran's eyes were locked on him. He was frowning as he stood there grasping air as the man who'd been in his arms walked toward the door. Deran stood there looking off balance for a moment before running his fingers through his hair and walking over toward them.

“Did you get my text?” Deran asked as he came to stand behind the seat next to Adrian's.

“Which one?” was all Adrian could think to respond.

“The one where I said I'd drop Scout off at your place since you were working late,” Deran said, pulling out his phone as though to check that it went through.

“Yeah, I got it,” Adrian confirmed. His voice didn't sound right to his own ears, but he tried not to let it show. “I thought I'd stop by for that beer you keep offering...since Scout's already at home.”

Deran nodded, mouth in a tight line and hands shoved into his pockets. He looked as uncomfortable as Adrian felt. “I was working out some...inventory stuff. Looking into trying a few new beers on tap,” Deran said.

“Yeah? Were you sampling what he had on tap?” Adrian asked, trying to lighten things up.

Craig roared behind him, laughing loud enough that all eyes were on him. Deran actually blushed which wasn't a common sight, but Adrian figured he'd earned it.

“Fuck you,” Deran told him, but he was smiling. “You should've texted. I would've told him to fuck off.”

“I'm not looking to cock block you. Just figured since we weren't handing off Scout, it would be a good day.” Adrian tried to sound detached and mature about it, but it was hard.

“Yeah, sorry. I've actually got to do inventory with the stuff he dropped off, but if—”

“Maybe another time,” Adrian said, needing to find a graceful way out. He really didn't want to fuck up Deran's schedule or his sex life. As much as Adrian felt the pull toward Deran more and more each time they hung out, he didn't want to force it.

“Yeah,” Deran sounded unsure, and Adrian couldn't figure out if he didn't actually want to grab a beer together or if he didn't want Adrian to leave.

“I'm just going to...” Adrian trailed off as he finished his drink.

“Yeah...right,” Deran said, nodding. “Catch you tomorrow morning?”

“Yeah, I'll meet you down at the beach,” Adrian said, ignoring the disappointment he felt that Deran wasn't going to stop by after he closed again. Who was he kidding? He didn't need to fear Deran fucking up Scout's schedule. It was Adrian who was hoping Deran's late night visit wouldn't be a one-time thing.

Adrian cursed himself as he stepped out of The Drop, shoving his hands into his pockets as he walked down the block to where he'd parked his car. He shouldn't have gone without texting Deran. He shouldn't have gone at all.

The drive back to his place was too quiet despite the music he had playing on the old stereo. Deran had been the one to install the thing in his car since all it had come with was a cassette player. Adrian knew the sound system was stolen. Anything Deran gave him was either stolen or bought with stolen money, so what difference did it make on which end of the deal the crime was committed?

Deran had broken into his car on his birthday and installed the thing for him. It had been right after he'd gotten out of prison, and Adrian had been so shocked to see him sitting on the hood of his car when he came out to go surfing that he didn't give a shit about the stereo.

Adrian stared at the stereo while stopped at a light. He'd punched Deran so hard when he saw it in his car the first time.

“ _What the fuck?” Deran asked, rubbing his arm._

“ _Are you crazy? You just did time for stealing a car,” Adrian only just managed to keep his voice in check._

“ _That's no reason to punch me,” Deran complained. “Thought you'd be happy I got out in time for your birthday.”_

“ _The stereo?” Adrian asked, pointing aggressively at the high end sound system._

_Deran shrugged. “Just try it out. Installed speakers that weren't shit too,” he said._

_Adrian shook his head, but when he turned the stereo on and one of their favorite songs came on, he couldn't stay angry. “You made me a mix?”_

“ _Gonna bitch at me about illegally downloading that music too?” Deran asked, smiling almost shyly._

“ _Fuck you,” Adrian told him. “I didn't know you were out.” He tried not to sound upset. Deran was his best friend. He'd gone to visit him a bunch of times, until Deran told him to stop because it looked gay to have him keep coming by._

“ _I just got out. Figured it would be fun to surprise you,” Deran said, shrugging his shoulders. “Heard the waves are good this morning.”_

_Adrian smiled. “You have your boards with you?”_

“ _Figured you'd let me borrow one.”_

“ _I can do that,” Adrian agreed, letting the song continue to play as he went to get Deran a board. No sooner had Adrian stepped into the back room of the house where he stored most of his boards, than Deran was pushing him up against the wall from behind._

“ _I'm clean, I promise,” Deran whispered roughly against Adrian's ear as he shoved Adrian's shorts down his legs._

_Adrian squeezed his eyes closed and reached back to hold Deran's hip. He'd missed this, but he'd missed Deran more. He hoped he wouldn't be too sore to surf after this because he could use a good set with Deran._

“ _Go easy. It's been a while,” Adrian said, but he needn't have worried. Deran was already sinking to his knees behind Adrian, showing his real intentions. “Fuck.” Adrian couldn't hold the curse back as he felt Deran's mouth on him. This was definitely a special day because while blowjobs were fairly common, Deran didn't tend to do this often at all._

_Adrian braced himself against the wall and let Deran have his way with him. Once Deran reached around and began to stroke him as well, Adrian was finished embarrassingly fast. His knees wobbled as he came over Deran's fist and one of his old boards._

“ _You been a monk since I left?” Deran asked, slowly rising to his feet as he wiped his mouth with his sleeve._

“ _Not intentionally,” Adrian told him, not wanting to spook Deran. He'd taken it pretty hard when Deran got arrested. He hadn't even surfed for the first month Deran was incarcerated. It wasn't that Adrian was that surprised. Deran had really gone off the deep end for a while. He would've had to have been deliberately oblivious not to have seen where things were headed._

_Knowing it was a possibility and facing it as a reality were two different things though, and Adrian had handled Deran's arrest about as well as Deran had handled losing the possibility of getting sponsored. He just handled it in an Adrian way instead of a Deran way._

_Adrian began to sink to his knees to reciprocate the gesture, but Deran grabbed his arm and kept him standing. “Maybe when we're done surfing,” Deran told him, giving him a tight smile._

“ _You okay?”_

“ _I'm fine. Just don't want to miss the waves because we're both fucked out,” Deran said, pulling the board he usually borrowed from Adrian when he didn't have one with him._

Adrian jerked as someone laid on the horn behind him. He glanced up to see the light had changed, and he slowly stepped on the gas. Every time things had gone sideways between them, Deran had come back to him.

Deran had always made it easy. He didn't ask questions. He just showed up and picked up where things had been left. If he set the bridge on fire again when he was leaving, that was just who Deran was, but he always came back.

Adrian just wasn't sure that was the case anymore.

 


	6. Going Out

Scout greeted Adrian with excitement and a mess. Adrian cursed as he saw the dark stain on the couch cushion. At least, it was only piss, but it was still frustrating especially with how things were going. It was even worse when he found a similar mess on his bed.

“Didn't he walk you before he dropped you off?” Adrian asked the dog like it would answer him. “Fuck, you're a puppy of course you're going to have accidents,” he continued to talk to Scout because he needed to talk to someone. “Just another reason I should have come straight home.”

Adrian stripped the bed and threw the sheets in the wash. Then he sprayed the mattress with deodorizer, just in case some of it soaked in. Then he went out to the living room and sprayed the couch before pulling the cushion and attempting to spot clean it. He cursed when it only made things worse.

“Looks like I'm flipping the cushions tonight,” Adrian said as he left the cushion in the sun to hopefully dry.

Adrian grabbed the leash once the worst of the mess was handled, then he took Scout out for another walk because as bad as piss was, he did not want to be cleaning up dog shit too.

Scout seemed content to stop at every spot of interest along the walk and sniff at it thoroughly. Adrian didn't really care that what could have been a five minute walk was going to turn into thirty with how frequently Scout kept stopping. He had nowhere to be.

Keeping his mind from wandering to Deran or their ever changing relationship was difficult though. Adrian didn't want to be angry with Deran. There was no reason for it.

He knew Deran hadn't flaunted the kiss purposely, and even if he had been expecting Adrian, which he hadn't been, Adrian had no claim on him. Their relationship was that of friends...who shared a very active dog.

Scout's eager tugs toward anything he could possibly sniff or mark, dragged Adrian out of his thoughts. They were walking along the Strand when they almost walked into one of the guys that Adrian frequently surfed with. He was walking his own pair of dogs, and Scout was more than a little interested in making friends.

“Hey man. Didn't know you had a dog.”

“It's a new development,” Adrian said, keeping pressure on the leash in case he had to pull Scout back quickly.

“You going to Matt's tonight?” the guy, Scott, asked seemingly unconcerned with their dogs checking each other out.

“What's happening at Matt's?”

“Just a party. You should come by. Haven't seen you around in a while,” Scott told him.

“Yeah. No one told me a puppy was a second full-time job,” Adrian said.

“Yeah, forget it. This one used to break out of his crate and tear up the house whenever I went to work,” Scott said, pointing to the larger of the two mixes.

Adrian smiled. At least, he wasn't alone in cleaning up messes.

“Hey, think about tonight. It's not healthy to just sit at home with your dog all the time. It'll be fine for a couple hours.”

“Yeah, thanks. I'll try to stop by,” Adrian said, finally pulling Scout away from the pair of dogs. Scout did not want to listen, but Adrian was stronger than Scout's will, and he pulled Scout along until the dog lost interest and bounded ahead of Adrian again.

Adrian hadn't actually considered going to the party until he got back to his apartment and realized that it really wasn't healthy to just sit on his rancid smelling couch and watch TV with Scout all night, for like the 20th night in a row. Not to mention, the couch was currently missing the middle cushion.

“Get a life,” Adrian said to himself as he went into the bathroom to take a shower, so he wouldn't smell like dog piss if he did go out.

Adrian kept the water cool as he cleaned himself quickly, scrubbing away the day's work and any thoughts of Deran kissing another man. Adrian tried to think of surfing, analyzing his final competitions. It usually helped to ground him, but his mind was still stuck on Deran depsite his best efforts.

Adrian didn't put any thought into what he put on after his shower. He pulled on a loose tank top and a sweatshirt. He pulled out a pair of shorts that were clean, and he slipped his feet into the first pair of flip flops he came across.

Adrian almost called Deran as he was shoving his wallet into his pants. He felt bad leaving Scout twice in one day, but he stopped himself. Scout was a dog not a child. In fact, he was asleep on Adrian's freshly made bed already. He probably wouldn't even notice Adrian was gone.

“You're turning into a headcase,” Adrian muttered to himself as he walked to the door, opening it as quietly as possible before slipping out and locking it behind him. Scout would be fine. He had plenty of water, and he was pretty good with being on his own despite Adrian and Deran rarely leaving him.

Matt's was within walking distance, and Adrian didn't mind the few blocks walk. He was used to walking the neighborhood at night these days, now that he took Scout out before he went to bed.

The party was in full swing by the time Adrian let himself through the back gate. Everyone had probably staggered in as soon as the light died, making surfing more difficult. They'd drink and smoke until they passed out, and then they'd wake up and do it all again in the morning.

Adrian enjoyed the lifestyle, but he didn't want to get stuck in the cycle some of these guys lived. Most of them didn't know what day it was, just how high the waves were on that particular day. Adrian had loved surfing since he was a kid, but he wanted more. He loved shaping boards, watching them take form with his steady care, but he liked the classes he was taking too.

Sometimes, Adrian just didn't feel like he fit, either in this scene, in Deran's, or in school. It was probably why he continued to compete for so long. At least when he was doing the QS, he had a set goal. Maybe the people didn't change that much, but the scenery did. It broke up that cycle a little. Reminded him that the world still turned beyond the waves.

“Adrian!” Someone shouted from around the empty that pool people were attempting to skate in. It was a bad idea all around, but with the drought stretching on, it was pretty much impossible to fill an entire pool. It definitely wasn't the Cody's backyard; there was no mistaking that. There was a hot tub though, but it looked like it had about five people too many squeezed into it.

Someone handed Adrian a beer without bothering to ask him if he wanted it, and Adrian took it because he wasn't going to sit here sober. He'd do that at the Cody's, but he didn't really have to fear anyone here. It was a relief.

Adrian found a group passing around a bong, and took a seat in their circle. There were a few people he knew pretty well and several new faces. They all seemed friendly enough.

“I didn't realize you were back in town, man,” one of the guys taking turns with the bong said. “This guy was killin' it in the QS,” he said to a woman sitting beside him. She nodded along with a glazed expression that matched everyone's in the circle. Clearly, this wasn't their first pass.

“Been back over a month. I've just been pretty busy,” Adrian admitted. He hadn't been avoiding everyone. He just hadn't been seeking anyone out. Maybe he was feeling sorry for himself in a way, but it didn't feel like that. Life had just changed since he'd gotten back.

“It's good to see you. You been by Deran's place?”

“Yeah, a few times,” Adrian said, not bothering to mention that he stopped by daily to pick up the dog they share custody of. That would lead to a whole lot of questions that Adrian had no answers to because really, who shared a dog with a person they weren't in a relationship with? And if today proved nothing else, it was that he and Deran were _not_ in a relationship.

“Awesome place, right?”

“Yeah, it's pretty nice.”

“He's got one of my boards on the wall.”

Adrian smiled. “Did Craig give you a free pitcher for it?”

“Damn fuckin' right.” The guy grinned at him before taking a hit from the bong and then passing it on to Adrian.

Adrian preferred a joint to the coordination a bong this size entailed. He balanced it in his lap as he lifted the lighter and got his mouth in position. It really wasn't that difficult, but there was a beauty to just lighting a joint and being able to hold it between his lips without any fuss. Not to mention, he and Deran could lie on their backs in the sand watching the stars over the ocean while sharing a joint, but that was beside the point.

Still, the light feeling that went through him as he held the smoke in his lungs was worth the balancing act. He passed it off to the next person, and just let himself mellow.

Despite his attempts not to think about him, memories of Deran filtered in with the high.

“ _Look, the guy I bought this from seemed a little crazy, so I'm making no guarantees about this stuff,” Deran said,walking across the beach to where Adrian was sitting._

_Adrian had his feet buried in the sand, and his eyes were focused on the way the moonlight played on the water's surface. He could see dozens of stars scattered across the inky sky which was not something he could see much of back home._

“ _You already high?” Deran asked, sitting down beside him, close enough that their thighs brushed._

“ _Just watching the stars,” Adrian said, folding his arms over his bent knees._

“ _Okay, well, I say we get stoned then take a night swim,” Deran suggested, pulling a bag and some papers out of his pocket. Adrian didn't tear his eyes away from the stars to watch Deran roll them a blunt with the papers of a cheap cigar. “Lick?” Deran's soft word was what pulled Adrian back to him._

_Adrian turned his head and carefully licked the edge of the papers before Deran sealed them down. Their eyes met as Deran held the blunt between them. It was a strange tradition they'd developed together. Deran always rolled, but he asked Adrian to seal it._

_Deran leaned in and kissed Adrian softly before placing the blunt between Adrian's lips and holding up a lighter. They didn't break eye contact as Adrian lit it and took the smoke into his lungs, holding it as he leaned in for another kiss._

_The kiss started soft and playful, but quickly became heated before Adrian shared his weed-laced breath with Deran. They only stopped as Deran also breathed it back out. They shared a tender smile as Adrian handed the blunt over, and Deran re-lit it._

“ _So, see anything interesting up there?” Deran asked, holding the blunt between his lips and pointing to the sky over the ocean._

“ _Just stars, but it's a nice change from Oceanside,” Adrian told him, plucking the joint from his lips and taking it himself._

“ _We've got stars in Oceanside. More planes and helicopters and shit, but we have stars too,” Deran insisted, knocking Adrian's shoulder with his own._

“ _Everything just feels bigger here. The waves, the sky, the ocean. Everything feels so much less significant...but more significant because of that.”_

“ _You really are already high,” Deran laughed, but he wrapped his arm around Adrian's shoulders, making Adrian believe he understood completely. “Makes you appreciate the little things.”_

“ _Exactly.”_

_Adrian wasn't expecting another kiss. Deran didn't tend to be overly affectionate even when they weren't worried someone would catch them. Deran seemed completely relaxed though, and he ran his fingers through Adrian's hair before resting his palm over the nape of Adrian's neck, holding him close._

_They ended up falling back onto the sand as they both tried to deepen the kiss further. Neither tried to roll on top of the other, instead lying side-by-side sharing sweet kisses. When they rolled to their backs, they passed the blunt back and forth as they looked up at the stars._

“ _You're right,” Deran admitted, running his palm up and down Adrian's thigh._

“ _About?” Adrian asked, taking a lung-full of smoke._

“ _A lot more stars out here...reminds me of the desert. Pope used to take me out in the desert when I were little. He'd drop me off with a backpack of supplies, give me coordinates and drive off. Sometimes, I'd just say fuck it and camp out until he came looking for me. Just sit under the stars eating the shit he packed for me.”_

“ _Fuck...” Adrian didn't know what else to say. He wasn't entirely surprised, but he was still horrified. “How old were you?”_

“ _Like maybe ten.”_

“ _You're family is sick.”_

“ _I guess, but I didn't know any different. Kids at school talked about trips with the Boy Scouts all the time. I just thought I was going camping.”_

_Adrian handed over the blunt again, feeling a strange combination of sickened and honored by Deran's revelation. He knew that Deran didn't share these things with anyone else._

“ _What constellation is that? It looks like a dick and balls” Deran pointed up at the sky._

“ _You're high.”_

“ _No look...” Deran grabbed Adrian's hand and pointed up at the sky, tracing the imaginary dick and balls._

“ _You're so full of shit,” Adrian laughed, lacing their fingers and pulling them to his chest._

“ _You're the one that just fondled the constellation cock.”_

“ _You grabbed my hand, asshole.”_

“ _We should go swimming.”_

“ _Anyone could find us out here,” Adrian protested._

“ _No one's come by yet,” Deran insisted, rolling to face Adrian._

_Adrian sighed, but he didn't stop Deran when he tugged up Adrian's shirt. Adrian placed the blunt to the side, and began tugging off Deran's clothes as well. Adrian tried not to cringe as the sand got into his shorts as they wiggled around. It wasn't as sexy as in the movies, but he was incredibly aroused and not about to stop this._

_Deran groaned as Adrian undid his pants and pulled them down, and he quickly returned the favor. When they were both completely naked, Deran pushed himself to his feet._

_Adrian wasted no time following Deran to his feet and taking off after him down the beach to the water. Deran slowed down as he came down to the water, but Adrian didn't and he grabbed Deran around the waist, knocking them both into the water._

_Both came up laughing as they resurfaced, still intertwined. “Asshole,” Deran laughed, wrapping his arms around Adrian's waist._

“ _You're the one that wanted to go in the water,” Adrian shot back, leaning in for another kiss. Deran returned the kiss rather than a comeback, but after a minute he dunked Adrian beneath the water before swimming away._

_They ended up body surfing and tackling each other until they were worn out and settled for kissing and groping each other in the shallows._

“ _Let's see how long I can hold my breath,” Deran mumbled against Adrian's lips as he stroked him beneath the surface._

“ _You're crazy.”_

_Deran slipped beneath the water, leaving kisses down Adrian's chest and stomach before Adrian felt his mouth envelop his cock. Adrian cursed, but his hand went down to grip Deran's hair. Adrian didn't know if it was Deran or just the whole setup, but he was beyond aroused as Deran took him deep into his throat like he wasn't at risk of drowning._

“ _Fuck...fuck, fuck.” Adrian cursed as Deran's hand joined his mouth, cupping Adrian's balls and straying further back. Adrian came with a whimper, that was drowned out by the waves, as Deran slipped a finger into his ass._

_Deran surfaced with a heaving gasp as Adrian's own breath wasn't doing much better. “Jesus,” Adrian said as he wrapped his arm around Deran to hold him up as he swayed._

_They slowly staggered out of the water and back to their clothes, where Adrian pushed Deran down and returned the favor. Deran re-lit their blunt as Adrian took him deep into his throat and ran his hands up and down his wet thighs._

_Deran came with a sigh as Adrian took him as deeply as he could, and it wasn't until Deran finished shaking that Adrian collapsed beside him. They both stared up at the stars, grateful for the small things they couldn't enjoy back home._

Adrian shook himself from his memories as the bong was passed back to him. Everyone seemed too high to have really noticed his lapse, but Adrian couldn't help taking peeks at the cloudy sky above them. It wasn't the same as in Belize, but nothing was.

The party was actually a lot of fun. Adrian got to catch up with a lot of people, and people were more than happy to share their beer and weed with him to celebrate his last shot at the QS. Adrian stopped telling them that he'd flamed out of it because that only made them twice as generous because “that's shit luck, man. I'm sorry. Want another drink?”

Adrian was pretty high and very drunk when he finally began the stumbling walk home. Despite his state, he knew he needed to take Scout for another walk before he passed out. It might only be to the corner and back, but the dog needed to go out.

The night air was a little chilly, and it helped to ground Adrian. However, it didn't prevent his thoughts from wandering to Deran and how Deran had moved on.

Adrian almost stumbled over his own feet as he stepped through the gate, only to see Deran sitting on his front step with a joint between his lips. Adrian blinked at him a couple of times before deciding that whether or not Deran was a hallucination, he couldn't just stand there staring.

“How long have you been here?” Adrian asked, gripping the gate to prevent himself from swaying. Suddenly, it seemed like it had been a bad idea to smoke and drink so much.

“About twenty minutes,” Deran said, studying him carefully. “Heather's closing tonight, so I thought I'd stop by and have that beer with you, but when I got here I realized it was later than I thought. I didn't want to wake you if you'd already gone to sleep, so I texted you...”

Adrian reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. Sure enough, there was a text from Deran, received a little over twenty minutes earlier.

“I didn't feel it,” Adrian said, waving the phone in front of him before putting it back in his pocket.

“You wasted?” Deran asked, sounding a little amused but also concerned.

“Yeah.”

“You have a date or something?”

“Or something...Matt was throwing a party,” Adrian said, stomach suddenly lurching. “Shit.” He covered his mouth and fought down the nausea that washed over him, and Deran was off the step and at his side.

“Holy shit, you smell like you were rolled in whatever you smoked tonight,” Deran said, wrapping his arm around Adrian's shoulder and steadying him. “Just don't puke on my shoes. Scout's already fucked up enough pairs.”

Adrian squeezed his eyes closed and found a bit of balance again. “You're better at this,” he said as he let Deran guide him up the walk to the door. Deran used his key to let them in, and he fended off Scout who came tearing out of the bedroom to greet them.

“Better at what?” Deran asked, leaving Adrian leaning against the wall, so he could pick up Scout before the dog started jumping on Adrian.

“Mixing beer and weed. Always makes me sick,” Adrian told him.

“Only when you lose count. You were fine in Belize.” He let that thought hang for a moment before plowing on ahead because there was no use comparing anything to Belize. It was a completely different world there. “What was the occasion tonight?” Deran asked, leaning into Adrian's space again, and pushing the sweaty hair off his forehead. It felt nice.

“Just felt like it,” Adrian admitted. He may have been fucked up, but he had the sense not to tell Deran that he was fucked in the head over him.

Deran just nodded like he completely understood where Adrian was coming from.

“I need to walk Scout,” Adrian said, attempting to push off the wall. He was met by Deran's hand firmly holding him in place.

“How about I walk Scout while you take a shower.”

An argument was on the tip of Adrian's tongue, but Deran didn't give him a chance. He just pulled Scout's leash off the hook and walked out the door with Scout still in his arms.

Adrian slumped in place as soon as he was alone. He felt like shit from too much weed and beer. He might have done some shots in there as well, and it was creating a very unpleasant sensation in his stomach.

He made it to the bathroom before he couldn't keep it down anymore. Adrian couldn't remember the first time he'd gotten sick from this particular combination of bad choices. He could remember the last time it happened because, of course, Deran was involved.

They'd come in first and second at some competition about an hour north of them. Adrian couldn't remember which one of them won, but Deran's idea of a celebration had been to rob a liquor store then proceed to get drunk and high until neither of them could feel anything. Adrian couldn't even really remember the sex, but he knew they'd had sex. It had been the movement of Deran rocking into him roughly that had set Adrian's stomach off.

Adrian had been too high to be embarrassed as he threw up in the motel bathroom for close to thirty minutes. Deran had actually been cool about it, even going so far as to rubbing Adrian's back through part of it...until he'd passed out on the floor. Adrian avoided mixing the two after that. A joint and a beer were fine, but nothing crazy.

Until Belize, where he'd been so relaxed and felt so safe. They'd drank and smoked near constantly for parts of that trip, and Adrian had never felt sick. He'd been too wrapped up in Deran.

“Shit, is this that competition all over again?” Deran asked, stepping into the bathroom and closing the door.

Adrian could hear Scout out in the hall, and he was glad that Deran had the sense to keep him out. Dog breath was possibly the only thing that could make this worse.

“Surprised you remember that,” Adrian said, blinking a couple times against the lights in the bathroom.

“I'm scarred for life. You started retching while I was still balls deep.”

Adrian felt his cheeks heat as that particular memory came back to him.

Deran shook his head. “Not up for a shower?”

“Not yet,” Adrian sighed, leaning back against the wall.

“You sure you're okay?”

“Yeah, just got lost in the vibe at the party.”

Deran nodded. It wasn't like it had never happened before. They'd both had their share of nights that ended like this both with each other and on their own. Adrian didn't need Deran to hold his hand or rub his back, but it was nice to have someone there. There was less chance of getting self reflective this way.

“I'm sorry about what happened at The Drop,” Deran said after a few minutes of silence. He'd taken a seat against the closed door, and their feet crossed each others as they stretched out in front of them.

“It was my fault for not texting. It's none of my business who you hook up with,” Adrian said.

“Yeah, but I would've rather had a beer with you,” Deran told him, kicking his foot lightly.

“Thanks, but I've had enough to drink,” Adrian said, leaning over the toilet again.

Deran laughed, and it felt nice to hear it even if he was laughing at Adrian.

“I don't think I've seen you this fucked up since we were in our teens. Remember that party Craig threw when I was fifteen, and we got so fucking high?”

“You mean the time you almost let your brothers set you on fire because you watched Pope do it then insisted you handle it?”

Deran laughed louder. That night, their places had been reversed. It had been long before they'd ever kissed, but they'd still been best friends. Adrian had actually punched Baz who was the ring leader when he came out with rubbing alcohol and a lighter. Craig had thrown him into the pool, but they hadn't fucked with Deran.

“That's the night. Never did thank you for standing up to my brothers.”

“No, you punched me in the gut for making you look like a pussy in front of everyone.”

Deran sighed. “Sounds right. I'm sorry I was a shitty friend...even before I was a shitty anything else,” he said, running his fingers through his hair.

“You weren't a shitty friend. You had a lot of pressure on you not to show any weakness. It's why I always stepped in. Figured if I was the pussy who couldn't handle watching you do whatever the hell they came up with, then it might not blow back on you. Craig definitely had me figured out though,” Adrian admitted. He didn't admit that he really couldn't handle watching Deran do the shit his brothers came up with, but that was a confession for another time.

“Craig's an idiot, but he has his moments.”

“Help me up?” Adrian said, changing the subject.

Deran got up easily and helped Adrian to his feet. He didn't ask if Adrian was going to take a shower, he just pushed open the curtain enough to turn the water on. Then he pushed Adrian's sweatshirt off his shoulders.

Adrian managed the rest himself, and Deran backed off, suddenly acting unsure whether he was allowed to be here.

“How's business going?” Adrian asked, forcing his mind to work. Puking had definitely helped clear it a little, but he wasn't sure that would last.

“It's good. It's not jobs with the family good, but it feels great to have something of my own,” Deran told him, leaning against the sink as Adrian stepped into the shower. “How are classes?”

“Good. Not winning tournaments good, but it feels like I'm accomplishing something.”

Deran laughed at the way Adrian mimicked his answer. “How's the water?”

Adrian didn't answer. He leaned against the wall and let his head hang under the spray of the shower head. It felt good. He got lost in the sensation of the water hitting his scalp. It was soothing.

“Hey, you okay?” Deran asked, pulling open the curtain just enough to stick his head inside.

Adrian was too high to react quickly, and he felt like he was falling in slow motion as he jerked away. Deran's hand steadied him, but now Deran was half in the shower with him.

“Sorry,” Deran apologized even as Adrian reached to turn off the water. The bathroom suddenly felt too small for both of them.

“I should get some sleep,” Adrian admitted.

“Probably,” Deran agreed, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around Adrian's hips. Deran hovered as Adrian got out of the shower and brushed his teeth, but he let Adrian have his space once he was in his room. “You going to be up for surfing tomorrow?” Deran asked as Adrian finally laid down.

“Yeah, I'll be fine,” Adrian promised. Surfing was the best thing for a hangover anyway. The cool water would calm the ache in his head.

Adrian couldn't see Deran's reaction, but he felt a soft pat on his thigh before the lights turned out.

 


	7. Chapter 7

Adrian tossed and turned, feeling entirely too hot as his body processed the alcohol he'd over indulged in. He hovered just beyond consciousness, feeling almost awake at points but never knowing whether he was having vivid dreams or moments of wakefulness.

_The scent of weed alerted Adrian of Deran's presence. He didn't reek of it, but there was enough of it that Adrian's brain immediately knew he was near. Not a moment later, his cool fingers pushed Adrian's sweaty hair off his face._

_A cool tongue followed, and Adrian almost laughed at Scout's idea of affection, but it came out more of a moan as his stomach twisted uncomfortably, and his skin felt like fire._

“ _Relax,” Deran whispered, and Adrian wasn't sure if he was speaking to him or Scout. “He's an idiot, but we love him anyway.” Deran's hand continued to pushed Adrian's hair off his face, and it felt incredible._

_Adrian pressed into Deran's touched, despite the heat he felt burning inside himself._

“ _Come to bed,” Adrian mumbled._

“ _Yeah right. You're sheets are soaked, and you smell like shit. Even Scout's giving you a look of disgust,” Deran said, but he continued to touch Adrian, running his fingertips down Adrian's neck and over his arm._

“ _I showered.”_

“ _You need another, and some mouth wash.”_

“ _Fuck you.”_

“ _Not when you smell like that.”_

_Despite Deran's words, Adrian felt his lips on his temple. It was a soft kiss, but it soothed some of the fire in his gut._

“ _Try to rest, or you're going to feel even worse in the morning,” Deran whispered in his ear followed by another soft kissed before everything faded back into oblivion._

Adrian woke to his alarm going off beside him on the bed. His whole body ached, and he had a fleeting thought that this must be how Craig felt every morning, and if his life ever became this regularly he'd hope Deran would drown him. Pulling himself up, he blinked a few times to clear his vision.

Scout wasn't in the bedroom with him which was strange. Usually, the puppy was more than happy to remind him it was time for their morning walk.

On his nightstand, there were two full glasses of water and a bottle of pills. Adrian felt his chest tighten as he took the first glass and drank from it. Then he poured out a couple of pills and washed them down with the second.

Deran had clearly left them for him before he went home because as great as Scout was, he couldn't put out water and pain-relievers. Adrian didn't know what to think of that. Sure, they'd both taken care of each other after nights of excess before, but not for a long time. Usually, Deran was long gone before morning, leaving Adrian to deal with the headache and the shame on his own.

Adrian pulled on a pair of shorts, trying not to overthink the gesture. Deran just wanted him to be ready to surf this morning. Really, it was a selfish thing to get him what he wanted in the end. So, Adrian was completely taken aback as he walked out of his room only to find Deran lying on his couch.

“You know you're missing a cushion?” Deran asked, looking up from Scout who was attacking his shoelaces with all of the energy and dedication of a two month old puppy. Deran seemed completely contented as he waved his laces back and forth in front of Scout's nose.

“Scout pissed on it. I had to air it out,” Adrian explained, trying not to show his surprise that Deran had stayed the night. “Did you sleep on that?”

“I really didn't sleep that much. Made sure you didn't choke in your sleep a few times, napped a little, then brought Scout for his walk,” Deran told him, picking Scout up and rubbing his belly as the dog licked at his beard.

“You didn't have to.” Adrian immediately remembered the strange dreams he'd had. Deran's kiss seemed to sear into his temple as he questioned whether that exchange had been real. Could Deran really have been so tender and thoughtful as to comfort him in his sleep and leave him relief for the morning?

“I know. Wouldn't have slept anyway if I'd left you in there passed out. Not to mention, my ribs are still a mess,” Deran admitted, standing up with Scout still in his arms. “You good to surf?”

Celarly, Deran wasn't going to give him any of the answers he wanted.

“Yeah,” Adrian said, nodding. “Nothing the water can't fix. Are you sure you can surf?” Adrian motioned to his own ribs to get his point across, but Deran shook his head.

“You'll just have to save me if I drown.”

“I doubt I can save myself right now.”

“Then let's hope neither of us drown because Craig can't raise our dog.” Deran looked completely serious as he said this, holding Scout so that he was giving Adrian his best puppy eyes.

Adrian shook his head, but he didn't say anything. Deran wasn't going to change his mind just because he was hurt. That would be showing weakness which had been trained out of him at a young age.

Deran smiled knocking Scout over on the cushion by rubbing his belly. “Already put our boards in the Scout. Grab your suit and let's go.”

Adrian nodded, and he didn't even tease Deran about how affectionate he was with Scout. Until recently, the only person or thing Deran was ever allowed to show affection toward had been his mother. Adrian had never shied away from telling Deran how fucked up that was. He was more wary about pointing out how much Deran had changed, afraid that he'd spook him.

After pulling on his wetsuit, Adrian brushed his teeth and washed his face. He blinked at his reflection in the mirror. He looked tired and pale, but there was a happiness behind his eyes that wasn't always there. Drying his face with a towel, he dodged Scout's enthusiastic jumps as he walked toward the front door.

Adrian stopped for only a couple minutes to rub and scratch Scout by the door. “You're spoiled rotten. Did he pet you all night? I'm going to kill him if he makes you think that's going to be a regular thing,” Adrian muttered, kissing Scout's head before slipping out the door.

Deran was sitting in the driver's seat when Adrian walked outside with his wetsuit half on. “We should teach Scout to surf,” Deran said as Adrian sat down.

“You want to drown our dog?” Adrian deadpanned, pulling the door closed. His head was still spinning from his hangover, and he wasn't entirely sure he'd heard Deran correctly because really?

“No. Plenty of people take their dogs surfing with them,” Deran countered.

“Have you been watching youtube videos of dogs surfing?” Adrian couldn't help the teasing tone. Deran Cody, man deathly allergic to anything he might arbitrarily attribute to being gay, was watching videos of people taking their pets surfing.

“Shut up, alright? You're telling me it never crossed your mind?”

“Not until you just brought it up,” Adrian said, shaking his head as he continued to laugh.

“He'd be good at it.”

“He doesn't even have bladder control yet, and you want him to balance on a board in the ocean.”

“He's getting better about accidentally pissing all over my shoes when he gets excited,” Deran defended, using one hand to steer and the other to shove Adrian.

“My bed and couch have a different opinion.” Adrian shook his head. “Maybe we should start by taking him down to the beach and seeing if he even likes the water.”

“Of course, he likes the water.” Deran sounded offended by even the suggestion that Scout might not like it.

Adrian shook his head. “He's not our kid. He's a dog.”

“I know that.” Deran's voice wasn't as firm though.

“Scout can't fix what's wrong with us, Deran.”

“I'm not delusional. I just think it would be cool.”

Adrian sighed. “I didn't give you a key because of Scout. I gave you a key because you've changed all on your own, and I trust you.”

“Okay.” Deran wasn't even glancing in his direction. His eyes were focused on the road, clearly uncomfortable with Adrian's words.

“I'd still like to have that beer with you,” Adrian said, keeping his eyes firmly fixed on Deran. Adrian realized that somethings wouldn't change just because Deran was being more open with who he was and trying to make changes for the better. Deran wouldn't suddenly have the maturity to do emotional legwork. He'd never been in the types of relationships that allowed for that sort of development.

Smurf had kept her boys firmly under her control, forcing them to keep her approval and support. Deran's relationships with woman had been mostly for show. He threw himself at whoever would be willing and made a show of it to cover up what he was.

Even his relationship with Adrian had been stripped of emotion. They were either friends hanging out and catching waves, or they were fucking and blowing off steam. There was no middle ground where they bridged the emotional gap between friends and lovers. And from what Deran had laid out there about his current string of fucks, he was meeting people through apps for a one time go or fucking guys like Mark Liston to get something in return.

So, Adrian put aside his uncertainty and his insecurities and just looked right at Deran. “I'm happy for you if you've moved on and you enjoy fucking whoever swings by your bar. But I'm not going to lie to you, I still get fucked up just thinking about you,” Adrian told him.

Deran coughed, or maybe he actually choked as those words settled between them. He took a shuddering breath as he pulled his truck into one of the available parking spots.

“I don't want to fuck this up again. I _can't_ risk fucking this up again,” Deran said, opening his door and getting out of the truck without looking directly at Adrian.

Adrian sat there staring at the now empty seat as Deran pulled his board out of the back and walked down to the beach. _I can't risk fucking this up again._ It wasn't the same as him saying he'd moved on, but in some ways it was probably worse.

Deran wasn't willing to cross that line they made in the sand for fear of losing what they had slowly gotten back. He was willing to leave things at handing off their dog and morning surfs because he was still to afraid of opening himself up.

Cursing under his breath, Adrian got out of the truck as well and followed Deran down to the water. “That's fucking weak,” Adrian said as he caught up to Deran.

“Fuck you,” Deran fired back, stepping over his board to get in Adrian's face. “You were all I had. You were the only one I could turn to when Smurf's shit was too much or when Craig was too high to remember his name never mind mine. You were the only one I could be honest with. I fucked all of that up. I can admit that now, but I can't risk doing it again. I can't risk losing this just to get off.”

Adrian could see all of that pent up fire that usually only made an appearance when Deran was either fighting or fucking. He was like a wild animal, crouched and ready to unleash it's fury. Adrian had always found it exhilarating.

“Is sex just a commodity to you? Either we're friends or we're fucking? Because that's sick, man. Smurf's still got you all fucked in the head.”

“No! I'm saying I can't be what you want...what you deserve. I'm putting everything I have into that bar, and I'm balancing it with dealing with my brothers. I don't have time to come over at night and tuck you in or whatever the fuck it is you do in a relationship.” Deran wasn't holding back his voice, clearly not giving a shit who heard him.

“You mean like walking my dog when I'm too drunk to do it myself, or making sure I don't stop breathing in my sleep? Or maybe you mean like getting me a fucking puppy because you think I'm lonely? How about like coming over to share a beer after work because you had things to do when I stopped by? Or maybe you mean it like coming over after a job went wrong just so you have someone to keep you company? What do you mean when you say you don't have time for a relationship, Deran, other than that you have no idea what a relationship is?” Adrian tore into him, dropping his own board and standing his full height. He rarely ever did with Deran, always slightly slouched until they were at eye level, always a little afraid of seeming like a threat.

Deran wasn't looking him in the eye now. He was looking just past Adrian's right ear, and Adrian knew it was a remnant of all of those years living under Smurf's thumb. Of wanting to stand up for himself but needing to show deference to her.

Adrian expected a cutting remark about not needing Adrian when he could fuck whoever he wanted at the bar. It was the sort of thing Deran would have said months ago. Deflect attention away from his shortcomings, so he could escape an uncomfortable look in the mirror.

“You're right. I don't know the first fucking thing about a healthy relationship, and I'd rather not crash and burn trying to figure it out with you because you've already dealt with enough of my shit. I'm trying, okay? I'm just not ready to fuck things up,” Deran said, looking down at the space between them.

Adrian was too shocked to speak at first. He just stared at Deran like he was seeing him for the first time, and in a way he was. The amount of self-restraint and personal reflection he'd just witnessed was incredible coming from Deran Cody.

His hand moved of its own volition, cupping Deran's chin and lifting his face. Deran met his eyes this time, giving Adrian a half smile as Adrian gently stroked his jaw.

Adrian slowly leaned in, but Deran pulled away from his touch. “Don't. It just makes it harder,” Deran said, stepping back over his board to put space between them. Adrian nodded, dropping his hand.

“Right. I guess we should paddle out before we waste all of our time,” Adrian said, licking his lips in frustration and picking up his board.

“I'm sorry.”

“Stop fucking apologizing,” Adrian snapped, walking down to the water and jumping in with his board. He immediately started to paddle out, not bothering to wait for Deran.

They surfed mostly in silence, and it didn't have the layer of comfort that their time on the waves usually possessed. Deran didn't dive onto his board or surf a hair too close.

It did help Adrian's hangover, though. The cool water felt lovely on Adrian's skin, and he caught Deran laughing at him as he spontaneously flipped his board a few times just to submerge for a minute or two.

“I'm telling you, Scout would love coming out. Maybe start with paddle boarding, get him used to the board and the wax,” Deran speculated as they waited for a wave.

“Dogs like fetch not surfing.”

“Our dog can like anything he fuckin' wants.”

“How high were you when you came up with this plan?” Adrian asked, laughing when Deran splashed him.

“It's not even like it's that uncommon. They have dog surfing competitions. Maybe you should compete in one of those. Maybe you'd have better luck.”

“Fuck you,” Adrian insisted, splashing Deran right back. Adrian half expected Deran to lean over and knock him off his board because that's just how things escalated, but Deran paused as he leaned in. Then he stopped completely and sat back.

“Hey, he's you're dog. It's up to you, but it would be cool,” he said, and it twisted Adrian's heart. He'd pulled away. He really wasn't letting them cross that line or any line.

“I'll think about it,” Adrian said, turning his board to catch an approaching wave. He needed something to relieve the sudden tension.

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter warning: animal injury

Things were awkward. Deran didn't stop by just because he felt like it anymore. In fact, they barely said anything as they handed Scout off in the morning, and more often than not Deran would text to say he'd dropped Scout off at the house, so Adrian didn't have to pick him up.

Adrian was working longer hours at the shop, spending less time on the beach. He refused to admit that it was because Deran wasn't coming around to surf with him, claiming he had a lot to do at the bar.

Deran said he was afraid of losing Adrian as a friend, but it didn't feel all that much like they were friends when they couldn't even figure out how to make small talk when they did see each other. Every time Adrian opened his mouth to say something, Deran made some lame excuse to leave. It was anything but subtle, and Adrian was at the end of his rope.

Even Scout sensed something was wrong. The ever-growing puppy spent more time climbing onto Adrian's lap than he used to, or resting his head there while Adrian read his textbooks. Scout followed him around the house more too, nosing at the bathroom door if Adrian bothered to close it. Adrian was starting to get used to Scout sticking his nose in the shower in the morning, checking on him. The first time, however, Adrian had nearly jumped out of the shower when Scout's nose poked him in the hip while he was rinsing the shampoo from his hair.

It was probably pathetic that his dog was looking after him. It wasn't like Adrian was falling apart. He was just spending more time in, and when he did go out, it was for work or to buy groceries.

Adrian had watched a lot of videos of dogs going surfing with their owners too. It was stupid, but the dogs always looked so happy with their tongues lolling out of their mouths, barking as they bounced on waves. Adrian still couldn't wrap his head around Deran actually giving this serious thought. It just seemed too ridiculous for Deran.

After about a week of avoiding the beach, Adrian gave in and led Scout out to his car. He drove down to the beach, and attached Scout's leash before letting him out. They walked through the sand, Scout kicking it up as he went and pausing to dig holes.

Adrian was half expecting Scout to be terrified of the water when they got down to the edge, but the dog charged right into the surf, barking at the waves excitedly.

“He brought you down here already, didn't he?” Adrian said, pulling a tennis ball out of his pocket and waving it in the air. Scout rushed to him, and he unclipped the leash before tossing the ball at the coming wave.

Scout charged into the water diving at the ball even as the wave overtook him. Adrian laughed as he got washed ashore with the ball firmly between his teeth.

They fell into an easy game, Adrian constantly vigilant despite Scout's enthusiasm. When the puppy looked to be tiring, Adrian picked him up and dried him off with the towel he'd brought. He didn't want to risk Scout rolling around in the sand before he was completely dry. His entire house and car would be covered in sand if Scout got it in his fur.

Scout seemed content to put up with Adrian's fussing, wagging his tail and licking Adrian's face as Adrian carried him up the beach.

Adrian sat down in the sand with Scout in his lap. He wouldn't be able to do this much longer if Scout kept growing, but it was nice to just sit with him and listen to the waves. Watching the ocean always relieved some of the weight in Adrian's chest.

“Thought that was you,” Craig said, walking up with his board under his arm. Adrian hadn't even heard him approach, he'd been so lost in his thoughts.

“Hey, Craig,” Adrian greeted him, shielding his eyes against the sun.

“Haven't seen you at the bar lately,” Craig noted.

“Been pretty busy at the shop.”

“Yeah, Deran's in denial too, go figure,” Craig retorted, shifting his board so he could sit down.

It always surprised Adrian, but Craig was definitely the most socially astute of the Cody boys. Sure, he was hell bent on snorting away his every last brain cell, but Craig could read a room. He often chose not to, but he _could_. Baz knew how to manipulate a room, Pope could frighten or bully everyone who wasn't his niece, and Deran knew how to escape a situation he wasn't prepared to handle. Craig wasn't incredibly intelligent, and his life was a mess, but Craig saw more than anyone gave him credit for.

“So, what's my baby brother done this time?”

“Nothing.”

Craig laughed, startling Scout to the point that the dog squirmed out of Adrian's hold to investigate. Craig immediately started to play with the dog, letting it lick his hand excitedly.

“Sorry if I think that's a load of shit,” Craig said, paying more attention to the dog than Adrian.

“It's the truth. I pushed. He stood his ground. He had every right to.”

“That's got to be a first.” Craig snorted, looking up at Adrian with searching eyes. Adrian wasn't certain what he was looking for, but he felt like Craig was looking right through him.

“Is he okay?” Adrian asked, reaching out to rub Scout's back to comfort himself.

“Is he ever? Look, he'd kill me for saying anything, but whether he's willing to admit it or not, he's happier when he's with you...how ever that is. So, maybe don't be a stranger,” Craig said, rubbing Scout's belly one last time before pushing himself off the ground.

“See you around, man,” Adrian said, not ready to acknowledge Craig's words.

“Yeah, see you around.” Craig walked down to the water, and Adrian was left wondering why Deran wasn't with his brother.

* * *

Despite Craig's words, Adrian couldn't find it in him to stop by The Drop. Deran continued to drop Scout off before Adrian finished his shifts, and Adrian told himself he didn't want to leave the dog alone for that long. It was a poor excuse, especially since Scout hadn't had any accidents in the house recently and acted fine when left to his own devices.

It ended up, once again, being Craig who stepped in.

“Yo, where's Adrian?” Craig's voice filtered in from the front of the shop.

Adrian was between jobs, so the planer was off, and he could hear the rest of the shop.

Not a minute later, Craig stepped into his workshop without a board.

“You looking to buy?” Adrian asked, wiping his hands off on one of the cloths he had lying around the room.

“Hell no, I'm here to tell you to come by The Drop tonight. Deran's got some band playing or something, and he's freaking out that no one will show up, and he's paying these guys for nothing,” Craig said, walking around the room and looking at the boards Adrian was working on.

“Sure, I'll see if I have time,” Adrian said, knowing that whether or not he told himself he'd blow it off, he'd probably go just to be supportive. Deran needed people who were supportive because every bit of support he'd had growing up had been manipulative.

“You made one for Deran, right?” Craig asked looking at one of the blanks Adrian hadn't started working with yet. Craig knew Adrian had made more than one board for Deran. He'd even competed one several of them. Kicked Adrian's ass on a few of them too, though Adrian had definitely returned the favor his share of times.

“Yeah. I thought you weren't looking to buy.”

“Looking for a friend.”

Adrian rubbed at the back of his neck as he walked across the workshop. Without being asked, he pulled a few boards he'd recently finished down to show Craig.

“Must be serious,” Adrian said, assuming Craig meant he was looking for Renn. That would definitely be a first for him.

“Just owe her a lot.”

“If you owe her money, I don't think giving her one of my boards is going to work out well.”

Craig laughed. “Yeah, I fuckin' paid that back. I just mean I _owe_ her, you know?” Craig said, giving Adrian a clear-eyed look. That was definitely a rare occurrence for Craig.

“I'll make one for her if you want. Just give me the specs and what you want on it,” Adrian said, knowing it was pointless to argue with Craig when he had his mind made up.

Craig looked thoughtful for a moment before shaking his head. “Just promise you'll stop by tonight?”

“I'll do my best,” Adrian told him.

* * *

Adrian showered after work, and he spent probably a little too much time finding something to wear. It wasn't like he had anything that Deran hadn't seen a hundred times, but he also didn't want to go looking like he'd been holed up in his house for weeks and not taking care of himself.

He stood beneath the cool water of the shower, telling himself that he was going to have a word with Deran tonight. If Deran didn't want to go back to what they had before, that was fine. However, if he wanted them to be friends, Adrian actually wanted them to be friends. He was sick of this dance they were doing.

They'd survived plenty of stupidity in their friendship. Hell, they'd fought plenty in their teens when they were figuring their shit out...but they'd also been fiercely protective of each other. Adrian knew in his heart that that hadn't changed. If anything happened to Deran, Adrian didn't know what he'd do with himself, but it wouldn't be pretty. So, he supposed he could understand Deran's hesitation, since Deran was the last serious thing that had happened to Adrian.

He just needed to made Deran see that the way things currently were wasn't going to work. They needed to clear the air.

“Even Scout can tell somethings up,” Adrian told the empty bathroom as he rinsed his body off. As the words left his mouth, he realized that Scout wasn't keeping him company. The dog had been glued to his side for days, and it felt strange not to have him within arm's distance.

Adrian turned off the water and pulled open the curtain, half expecting to see Scout sitting patiently on the mat on the floor. However, the bathroom was empty. Adrian pulled a towel around his waist and walked out of the bathroom to his bedroom, but Scout wasn't there either. Walking out of his room, he didn't see the dog in the living room which was his favorite spot.

Adrian frowned. Scout was pretty much always under foot or asleep in his favorite spots. “Scout,” Adrian called, glancing around the room one more time.

Adrian walked to the back of the house, finding Scout in the back room by the surf boards. “What're you doing in here?” Adrian asked coming into the room to find Scout panting on the floor. “What's wrong?”

The dog couldn't answer, but he was clearly distressed. He didn't even try to get up to greet Adrian which he would do even when Adrian left the room for less than a minute.

Adrian dropped to his knees and opened the dog's mouth. “Did you eat something you shouldn't have?” he asked, seeing nothing in the dog's mouth. Adrian looked around the room for something the dog could've gotten into, but all there was were his boards. He had wax too, but it was all on shelves too high for Scout to get to. Adrian cursed as he pulled out his phone and looked up a vet that would be open.

He called the number as he lifted Scout into his arms. The dog half-heartedly licked at his neck as he rushed out to the living room before he realized he was only wearing a towel. Scout whimpered pathetically as Adrian laid him on the bed while he pulled on the clothes closest to him before lifting the dog up again. He ran out to his car, everything else forgotten.

The ride to the animal hospital was a blur, and Adrian couldn't stop glancing down at Scout who was quietly laying in his lap. The dog nuzzled him affectionately despite being in pain, and Adrian's heart broke as he cradled the dog close. He didn't know what he would do if he lost Scout. They hadn't been together long, but he knew it was be devastating.

When they arrived, Adrian carried Scout into the office frantically. “Please help. I think my dog ate something he shouldn't have, and he's acting strange,” Adrian announced as soon as he saw someone who seemed to work there.

The woman was hardly rattled by Adrian's words or his appearance, and she calmly asked his name and Scout's name. Then she somehow got any necessary information out of him without Adrian losing it.

Once the receptionist was finished, the vet saw them almost immediately, and they were kinder than Adrian expected. Everyone was extremely kind considering Adrian fully believed he'd inadvertently murdered his own dog.

“You don't know what he could've eaten?” the vet asked, holding Scout's mouth open and flashing a light inside.

“I don't know. I found him in the room where I keep my boards, and I don't think he took a bite out of one of them. I didn't see anything near him, but he spends time with my...best friend, so I don't know if he might have eaten it there...” Adrian told her.

“It's possible. Sometimes you won't notice anything right away. We'll take some x-rays, see if there is an obstruction. Don't beat yourself up, it can happen to even the most vigilant dog owners,” she told him, patting his shaking hands soothingly.

That didn't make Adrian feel any better. He had no idea if Scout would be alright, and he wanted nothing more than to call Deran, but he didn't want to give him anything else to worry about.

Tests took a while, and Adrian only got more and more worried. He kept playing possibilities over in his mind. Had Scout eaten something while Adrian was in the shower? Had he eaten something on his walk? What if it was something else? What if he had some incurable condition?

Finally, he gave in and texted Deran in hopes that it would distract him from his own thoughts.

_I'm sorry I couldn't make it tonight. I'm at the vet. I think Scout ate something he shouldn't have._

Adrian didn't even have time to slide his phone into his pocket before it was ringing. Adrian answered it quietly. “You didn't have to call...”

“What happened?” Deran asked.

Adrian could hear voices in the background, but it sounded like Deran was in the back room of the bar. “I was about to leave to stop by your bar when I realized Scout wasn't running around. I found him in the back room with the boards, panting like crazy.”

“Shit. You don't have any clue what he might have eaten?” Deran asked, and Adrian could imagine him running his fingers through his hair in frustration.

“No. I try not to leave anything out that he could accidentally swallow. And he's been stuck to me like glue since we...he's hardly been out of my sight for days,” Adrian amended, not wanting to bring up their own drama.

“Oh shit...”

“What?”

“Craig was complaining because he couldn't find his other sock. He swore they were together...”

“Craig's socks?” Adrian couldn't help how horrified he sounded. First of all, Craig was massive in all respects, and that could not have been a small sock. Secondly, Craig was not exactly the most hygienic individual.

Deran cursed loudly over the phone. “I got a delivery, and I must have been distracted. I'm a fucking idiot. I didn't even know Craig was there until he started cursing about socks.”

“It's not your fault. The vet says it happens even when people are really careful.”

“Don't lie. I fucked up. Scout was probably trying to protect me from Craig's lethal smelling socks,” Deran said, sounding a little amused despite his concern. “Are you okay?”

“I'm fine,” Adrian lied, looking down at his shaking hands.

“Right. Look, I've got to go. Keep me updated, and whatever it costs, I'll handle it,” Deran said.

“You don—”

“But I will. Keep me updated.” With that, Deran hung up, and Adrian was left with his own thoughts once again.

The vet stepped out as Adrian was putting his phone away. “How bad is it?”

“We can remove the obstruction, but it'll require surgery...”

“Yeah, anything. Just make sure Scout's okay.”

“Would you like to see him before we take him in?”

Adrian nodded, and he followed the vet back to where Scout was lying on a table, already getting prepped for surgery. He leaned in and pressed a kiss to the dog's muzzle before letting Scout bathe him in a few wet kisses.

“You'll be okay,” he said before he went back to the waiting room. He tried not to let guilt eat at him. If he hadn't been so distracted with his feelings about Deran maybe he would've caught Scout's behavior sooner.

Adrian was just pulling his phone out to text Deran again when Deran burst through the door of the clinic. Deran didn't even break stride as he crossed to Adrian and pulled him up out of his chair into his arms.

“They're taking him into surgery. They said it should be okay,” Adrian said, clinging to Deran.

“It'll be okay,” Deran said, rubbing Adrian's back and kissing the side of his face. Adrian didn't realize he was crying until Deran wiped a tear away from his cheek. “It'll be okay.”

They didn't pull away from each other immediately. Deran didn't push Adrian away or make any comments about how upset he was. He just held Adrian until Adrian got a hold of himself.

They ended up sitting side-by-side in the waiting room with several other stressed pet owners. Deran wrapped his arm around Adrian's broad shoulders and pulled him to his side. It was probably the most intimate they'd ever been in public and probably in private too. Deran pressed a kiss to Adrian's hair and held him securely as they waited.

“How did the band do?” Adrian asked quietly.

“They sucked, but people enjoyed it. Pulled in a lot of new customers,” Deran spoke quietly, like there was some spell he didn't want to break by speaking as he normally would.

Adrian nodded, folding his arms over his chest and letting Deran's warmth combat the cold of the waiting area. “Thanks for coming...”

“He's my dog too.”

Adrian wished he had the energy to make a joke about it, but he just nodded again and closed his eyes.

* * *

“Hey,” Deran's voice broke through the haze of sleep. “Adrian wake up, he's out of surgery,” Deran said, and that had Adrian sitting up and alert. He had no idea how much time had passed, but it didn't matter so long as Scout was okay.

“Is he okay?” Adrian asked, rubbing the side of his face.

“He's fine. They said we can go see him, but they want to keep him until tomorrow, so we should probably go home and get some sleep.”

Adrian nodded, letting Deran lead him into the back again where Scout was now resting in a crate. Adrian watched as Deran bent down and rubbed the dog's head and ears.

Scout was clearly drowsy, but his tongue lolled as he leaned into Deran's touch. “Shit, it's like dealing with Craig when he fucks up what he's mixed,” Deran said, straightening up so Adrian could have his turn.

Adrian knelt in front of the cage they had Scout in and took the dog's paw. Scout clumsily licked his hand, but it was hard to get around the cone they had him wearing.

“He's going to look like a dope for a while,” Deran said, pointing to the cone.

“So long as he doesn't eat another sock, I don't care what he looks like,” Adrian countered. He pressed his face to Scout's before standing up and stepping back. He wasn't expecting Deran's hand to rest on the small of his back, but it was a welcome comfort.

Adrian's heart broke as Scout's whines followed them out of the back area. Deran's hand remained on the small of his back, rubbing it soothingly. When the receptionist talked about payment plans, Deran stepped in and handled it as promised. Adrian was too exhausted to argue with him.

“I'll pay you back,” Adrian said as they walked into the parking lot.

“Shut up. I don't want your money,” Deran told him, walking Adrian to his car. “Where are your keys?”

Adrian held them up, and Deran snatched them before he could say anything.

“I'll drive.” Deran's words didn't leave room for argument.

“Where's your car?”

“Pope dropped me off. He was sick of the music, and he was happy for an excuse to leave,” Deran told him.

“Since when did Pope need an excuse?”

“Just get in the car,” Deran said, lightly pushing Adrian toward the passenger side.

Adrian went. It wasn't worth fighting about, and he was too emotionally drained to drive carefully as it was. Deran was much more used to the ups and downs that came with adrenaline rushes.

The drive back to his house was quiet. Adrian didn't even know where to start. He was just tired and worried, and he wanted to roll into bed and not move until he was allowed to bring Scout home.

Adrian still didn't say anything once they pulled into his driveway, and Deran turned the car off. Deran looked like he was going to open his mouth, but he stopped and just got out of the car.

Deran used his key to open the door, and once again, his hand found the small of Adrian's back. They walked through the living room, down the hall, and into the bedroom.

Adrian didn't complain when Deran pushed his shirt off his shoulders followed soon by the t-shirt he had beneath it. Similar to many of the nights Deran would come by in search of sex, they didn't share any words as they stripped each other down.

However once they were in nothing but their underwear, they climbed into bed and just laid there. Deran stared at the ceiling, while Adrian curled on his side.

After about twenty minutes of suffocating silence, Deran rolled into Adrian space and wrapped his arm around Adrian's hip. “He'll be okay,” he promised, pressing his nose to the nape of Adrian's neck.

“Are we going to be okay?” Adrian asked, knowing it was something both of them were avoiding.

“I'm sorry I freaked out,” Deran said, pressing his nose against the nape of Adrian's neck and holding him close.

“I don't want to push you...” Adrian said when Deran couldn't seem to find anymore words. “I just...wanted you to know I'm open to it. I can do friends though. Just don't block me out.”

“I want you. I want what we had, more than we had. I'm fucking terrified...”

“We don't have to talk tonight. We don't have to—”

Adrian's words were cut off as Deran cupped his cheek and turned his head to capture his lips. The kiss wasn't heated or aggressive. It was tender like the one they'd shared before he'd left for the QS. It didn't lead any further, but it said everything Deran couldn't put into words.

Like a marionette with its strings cut, Adrian sagged further into the bed and soon sleep claimed him for its own. He didn't have answers, but the weight on his shoulders was lifted just the same.

 


	9. The Changing Tide

Adrian woke with his alarm, finally beginning to feel conditioned into waking at this hour. However, it only took a moment to realize the weight on his hip wasn't Scout but Deran.

Deran's arm pulled him closer as Adrian turned off the alarm. He began to stroke Adrian's hip gently with his thumb as they both laid there silently.

“We should catch some waves since its too early to go to the vet,” Deran suggested, letting his hand wander over Adrian's bare stomach now.

“Yeah. It'll be good to clear my head,” Adrian agreed, feeling more zombie than man.

They both got up and pulled on a suit before loading their boards into Adrian's car. Deran stopped for coffee on the way, and Adrian was actually grateful for it this morning. He felt like he could barely keep himself moving.

“You going to call Tao?” Deran asked as they sat in the sand, finishing up their drinks.

“I already texted him,” Adrian said softly. He'd actually texted him last night when the vet said they'd have to perform surgery. He'd known there was no way he was making it into the shop today. “Your brother's going to be pissed. He commissioned a board for his girlfriend.”

“That idiot. Renn's cool, but Jesus, he left her for dead and then she almost had her cousin's kill him. What kind of fucked up relationship is that?” Deran asked.

Adrian laughed. He couldn't help it. “Yeah, that's fucked up. Nothing like us. You'd only break into my house or beat me up in public restrooms, or have Pope throw my other boyfriends off boats. Nothing fucked up there,” Adrian said, but it didn't come out nearly as bitterly as it would've in the past.

Deran cursed, and Adrian felt a little badly about it. It didn't help to tear into old wounds, especially when Deran was making so much effort not not be that person anymore. Deran was aware of how fucked up things had been, and he'd been trying to be better. Their past still existed though.

“And a surfboard is not nearly as much responsibility as leaving a puppy on someone's doorstep...”

“Fuck you, okay? You fucking love Scout, so just shut up,” Deran argued, but he was smiling as he grabbed Adrian around the waist.

Adrian pulled him into his side, holding him tightly. “I do,” Adrian agreed, pressing the side of his face to Deran's. Deran did the same, rubbing against him affectionately.

Deran never would have done this in the past. The beach was too public even at this hour, and there was too much risk of someone they knew seeing them. But now, he did it eagerly, wrapping his arms around Adrian in the process.

It was a jarring difference, but Adrian didn't let it hit him like it did back in the bar when he saw Deran kiss the other man.

The embrace ended naturally, and they both threw out their coffee cups before diving into the water. Deran's body was still healing from the job he'd done, but he moved naturally in the water despite the fact that the pressure on his bruised ribs had to hurt.

Adrian paddled out beside him, _accidentally_ splashing Deran on every other stroke. Deran didn't retaliate immediately, and Adrian knew he was in for trouble.

They both paddled for the same first wave, and they'd been surfing together long enough to easily ride side-by-side. Adrian left enough space between them to cutback and get some speed. Deran chose to ride it low down the line, going for a clean ride.

They both pulled back over the wave and paddled back out. They didn't say anything, but they also didn't need words when they were in the water.

The next wave, Deran launched himself at Adrian as he loved to do, and Adrian took it as always. He held Deran under as they hit the water, and they laughed when Deran surfaced, hair going everywhere.

Adrian couldn't help himself as he pushed Deran's hair out of his face and leaned in to kiss him. Deran clearly wasn't expecting it as his eyes widened when he realized Adrian's intent. However, he didn't stop him.

It started as a soft press of salty lips, but it was a spark that ignited a barrel of gasoline. Deran clung to Adrian, opening his mouth to the kiss and holding them tightly together. Adrian pressed his tongue past Deran's inviting lips and deepened the kiss, completely forgetting where they were.

Deran let out a growl as Adrian nipped his bottom lip, and he returned the gesture aggressively. It was heated and consuming, and it would've gone on and on had it not been for a wave that came and crashed over them.

Neither of them let go of the other as they plunged beneath the surface. Their lips continued to meet in a lighter kiss as they now held what little breath they still had.

When they surfaced, they broke apart, gasping for air and some semblance of control. Deran cursed as he pulled his board in by the leash, and Adrian quietly did the same.

They didn't discuss it, and they didn't paddle in, but there was a tension there as they caught their next waves. Deran rode dangerously close to Adrian on their next ride, practically reaching out and touching him as they wove back and forth gently.

Adrian trusted Deran in and out of the water, and Deran continued to ride dangerously but with incredible skill. Eventually, he hopped onto Adrian's board with him. Adrian moved to accommodate him, but Deran pulled him close, grinding their hips together as they used the rest of their bodies to hold their balance.

“You're crazy,” Adrian shouted over the waves, but Deran was grinning happily as he pressed them together.

It was almost easy to forget their worries with Deran acting playful. It was so refreshing that Adrian couldn't focus on anything else.

When they finally paddled in, they were both exhausted from a good morning and from how much they'd laughed. They carried their boards up to Adrian's car and went to rinse off in the showers.

Adrian was surprised when Deran crowded in against him as they washed off. There was no one around, but Deran would never be this open.

Still Deran pulled Adrian to his chest as the water washed over him, and Adrian had flashes back to Belize where worries couldn't catch them.

_Deran slid behind Adrian, gripping his hips to hold him in place. Adrian didn't plan to move anyway, but he wasn't about to complain about Deran's touch. They still had their wetsuits half on as they stood under the stream of water. It rinsed away the salt and sand, but it also seemed to wash away Deran's inhibitions._

_Deran's hand slid down Adrian's chest as he ground against his ass. Adrian reached back and braced himself by placing his hands on Deran's hips. Deran's fingers inched lower, dipping beneath the thick material of Adrian's wetsuit and following the light trail of hair beneath his navel._

_Adrian bit his lip as Deran's hand disappeared beneath the suit, gripping Adrian firmly. He tried not to make noise as Deran stroked him. He was mesmerized by the movement of Deran's hand beneath the thick black neoprene. Small gasps fell from his lips as Deran's other hand stroked his chest._

_Deran continued to move his hips against Adrian, pressing himself to Adrian's ass. Deran nipped at Adrian's freckled shoulders, pulling his attention in every direction and making it that much harder to maintain control._

“ _Not in the suit. Never get it out,” Adrian gasped when he realized he was teetering on the brink. He was too aroused to notice if they even had any sort of privacy, but he was trusting Deran._

_In one harsh tug, Deran pulled Adrian's suit down to the tops of his thighs. It was still stuck halfway up his ass in the back. It was enough though, and Deran gave him a few firm strokes before he was spilling into the flow of the shower._

_Adrian collapsed against Deran's chest and tugged his suit back up to cover himself as Deran continued to kiss his neck and shoulders._

“ _We need to get back to the apartment now,” Deran growled in his ear, pressing his own erection against Adrian's ass to make his point. They rinsed off quickly before grabbing their boards and heading back to the place they were crashing._

“You remembering Belize too?” Deran asked against his ear, still just holding him there, but Adrian could tell they were both hard.

“Yeah,” Adrian admitted.

Deran nodded, turning off the water and practically dragging Adrian back to his car. Deran didn't even ask for the keys this time. He just took them from Adrian and started the car. Adrian got into the passenger side and let himself be driven home.

“Your car's a piece of shit,” Deran told him as they pulled a round a corner near Adrian's house.

“No one said you had to drive it,” Adrian shot back. The thing was on its last legs, but he really didn't have the money for a new one between rent and buying food for a growing dog. That's not to mention any antibiotics that he would need to buy for Scout.

“Your driving sucks when you have a boner.”

“And your driving sucks all the time, so you just don't notice the difference,” Adrian argued.

“Fuck you. I'm a great driver.”

“A great getaway driver and a great driver are not the same thing. You're reckless.”

Deran didn't have a comeback for that. He _was_ reckless. Not so much when he was driving Adrian around, but he was usually completely reckless behind the wheel or on a board. It was part of what made him a great surfer.

Deran pulled into Adrian's spot and killed the engine. The energy in the car was just waiting for a spark to explode. Deran leaned over into Adrian's space. “If I kiss you now, we're not going to make it out of this car,” Deran told him.

Adrian undid his seatbelt and got out of the car, walking swiftly toward the front door. Deran was hot on his heels, tossing Adrian's keys to him and following him into the house.

No sooner had the door closed than Deran was shoving Adrian roughly against it. He shoved his thigh between Adrian's legs, pinning him in place, and he captured his mouth in a heated kiss.

Adrian's head was swimming as Deran roughly pushed the tank top he was wearing up over his head before sinking his teeth into Adrian's shoulder. Adrian cried out, but he couldn't get enough of Deran's possessive behavior.

Deran had always had this fierce aura about him that fueled their encounters. It made everything feel that much more intense because it was like he couldn't wait to get Adrian down to his skin and lay claim to him.

Blowjobs were different. Deran would take his time with those, make them lazy and teasing when he felt like it. Deran wasn't inconsiderate, just always chomping at the bite to let loose, like his surfing or his driving. Just one moment away from losing control but holding on with great skill.

Adrian helped Deran lose his shirt as well, then they were pressed tightly together. Deran ground his thigh into Adrian's groin, pulling strained sounds from Adrian as he got lost in their dance.

They stumbled down the hallway toward the bedroom, knocking into walls and anything in their way. Adrian gasped when Deran shoved him into an open doorway and shoved his sweatpants down over his hips. Adrian returned the favor against the wall outside his bedroom, dragging Deran inside as he was still stepping out of his pants.

Deran practically threw Adrian onto the bed as soon as they were close enough, and he followed right behind him. He draped himself over Adrian's back, holding him in place as he ground his hips against Adrian's ass.

Adrian fumbled with his bedside drawer as Deran sucked a bruise into his shoulder. When he pressed the lube into Deran's hand, he was met by several curses.

“You forget how to use that or something?” Adrian asked, bracing both of their weight on his arms as Deran continued to grind against him.

“I'm not...I have no fucking clue if I'm clean,” Deran ground out, sounding just as pained by the words as the erection that was pressing against Adrian's ass.

Adrian gritted his teeth. He should have remembered that Deran wasn't so far in the closet that Adrian didn't really have to worry about him fucking other guys anymore.

“I use a condom...most of the...some of the time...fuck, I'm not risking it. Not with you,” Deran said, still holding Adrian against his chest just in case Adrian tried to pull away.

Deran had always been excellent about making certain he was clean whenever they fucked. Sure, Deran had been having sex regularly with women throughout the time they'd been fucking, but he used protection and he got checked frequently. Deran wasn't risking fathering any children. Deran sucked at a lot of things when it came to relationships, but he'd always been good about this. Maybe he wouldn't have been so careful if not for the latex allergy, but at least part of it had to do with caring about Adrian more than a quick lay.

“You're really going to leave it like this?” Adrian asked through gritted teeth.

Adrian had been cock-blocked by his inconvenient allergy more times than he'd like to admit. A latex allergy was not convenient for anyone who wanted to get laid frequently by multiple partners. It was downright awful for a gay man who was already dealing with stigmas around sex and STIs and HIV.

_Deran shoved Adrian into the back seat of the Scout as soon as they'd put enough miles between them and the convenience store. Adrian went willingly, falling over the seat onto his back and quickly being joined by Deran._

“ _Lose your pants,” Deran commanded, helping Adrian with the button then shoving them down. “Fuck, sit on my lap.”_

_Adrian pulled his pants off completely before straddling Deran's lap and gripping the seat behind him. He rocked his ass down into Deran's lap, rubbing himself against Deran's still clothed groin._

_Deran let out a string of curses as he popped open the small bottle of lube he'd stolen. It was the biggest bottle the convenience store carried, but it really wasn't all that much...or at least it didn't seem like that much to him._

_Adrian kissed Deran hungrily as Deran poured some of the lube onto his fingers. They both cursed as he poured too much and it dripped all over the seat._

“ _Craig's going to kill me if this stains the seat,” Deran complained, using Adrian's pants to clean away the mess._

_Adrian didn't complain. He was too focused on what was coming to care that his pants were now definitely covered with lube._

_Deran's hand came around Adrian's back kneading his ass before running down the cleft. Adrian grunted as Deran slowly pressed a finger into him. It wasn't incredibly finessed, and it was just the wrong side of rough, but Adrian was too turned on to care._

_They were both tense, and it didn't exactly make for a smooth first time together. Deran roughly opened him up, taking gentle pointers but not well enough to prevent any pain. Adrian gripped and scratched Deran a little too hard whenever Deran was a little too rough, and they'd both be feeling it come morning. However, they were both completely into it._

_Adrian was as loose as he was getting when Deran shoved his own pants down his thighs and pulled a condom from his pocket. Adrian almost fell back into the front seat because he jerked back so hard when Deran tore the wrapper open._

“ _What the fuck?”_

“ _No condoms,” Adrian spat, at the same time Deran placed the thing on the head of his cock. “Fuck.” Adrian continued to curse as he moved as far away from Deran as the back seat allowed._

“ _What the hell is your problem?” Deran asked, still holding the condom in his hand._

“ _I'm allergic,” Adrian nearly shouted. Of course, he'd fuck probably the only Cody to even think of using a condom during sex. Adrian was almost certain none of them had proper sex ed. Smurf probably told them just don't get anyone knocked up. Other than that, do what you want. And the only reason for that first caveat was so she wouldn't have any competition._

“ _Seriously?”_

“ _Yeah.”_

“ _Why didn't you say that before?”_

“ _Because who the hell thought you were actually going to use a condom?”_

_Deran's mouth flapped open endearingly. Clearly, Adrian should have given him more credit._

“ _Why wouldn't I?”_

“ _I don't know. I wasn't thinking,” Adrian admitted, running his hand through his hair. He didn't want to admit that he didn't actually believe Deran would be responsible enough to use one._

“ _I'll throw it out. Come back here,” Deran said, tossing the offending item out of the car._

_Adrian groaned, but this time it wasn't in pleasure. “I can't. You need to wash it off.”_

_Deran just gaped at him like he was telling the world's worst joke. “You're fucking serious?”_

_Adrian nodded, and Deran let out a string of curses._

Deran rolled Adrian onto his back, pinning him to the bed. “I'm not leaving anything,” he said, grinding their hips together. He grabbed the lube and poured in onto his hand before reaching between them and finding Adrian's ass.

Adrian bucked his hips as Deran pressed a finger inside of him, and he wrapped one of his legs around Deran's hips to hold him close.

Deran kissed him roughly as he built a rhythm with his fingers, and Adrian began to stroke them together.

When Deran had two fingers inside of him, he shuffled down Adrian's chest until he was kneeling over him.

Adrian arched off the bed as Deran took him in his mouth. It didn't last long after that between Deran's fingers and his mouth, Adrian was lost. He would've been embarrassed by how easily Deran wound him up, but he didn't have shame where Deran was concerned.

Deran pulled off of him, wiping his mouth as he smiled down at Adrian. “I'll go today once we have Scout back,” Deran said, bracing himself over Adrian's chest.

Adrian was shocked. He hadn't been giving the repercussions of this any thought, but as Deran talked about getting tested, meaning he was planning on a second go, Adrian realized he'd expected Deran to push him away like he used to.

Instead, Deran leaned in and nuzzled his neck, pressing soft kisses the the hickies he'd left behind. Adrian felt a tension, he hadn't even been aware of, leave his body as Deran settled over him.

This was so different than the rushed shower and hasty escape that usually followed their times together. In fact, the drastic difference was leaving Adrian a bit lightheaded.

“You're not leaving?” Adrian asked. He'd always been blunt with Deran. It was the only way to maintain any level of control with him.

Deran ducked his head, averting his eyes as he did so often when he was ashamed to look Adrian square in the eye. “I'm staying, and I'll drive you to the clinic,” Deran said, keeping his eyes focused on Adrian's chest.

Adrian reached up and pulled Deran down for a soft kiss. Neither of them pushed it further, just holding on to the moment.

 


	10. Cone of Shame

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *This chapter uses slurs in reference to Deran's Pottery Barn comment in Season 1.

Scout was just as energetic as he usually was by the time they made it to the vet's office. However, the puppy was decked out in a cone to keep him from licking his stitches, and Deran was offended for the poor dog's dignity.

“You aren't taking it off. I'm not driving right back here because he licks his stitches until they open,” Adrian told him as Deran carried Scout to the car.

“He looks stupid.”

“He is stupid. He ate a sock and nearly died.” Adrian _was_ sympathetic to Scout's predicament, and it was because of that that he would not let Deran take the cone off. It would only make things worse for the dog if he could reach those damn stitches.

“He probably thought it was a grenade. You know? He figured if he ate Craig's sock, then it couldn't kill us all,” Deran insisted, fingers getting dangerously close to the cone.

“If you touch the cone, I will throw you out of this car while I'm driving,” Adrian insisted, grabbing Deran's arm and pulling it into his lap to keep it occupied.

“Drop me off at the clinic?” Deran asked suddenly, squeezing Adrian's inner thigh.

“You don't—”

“Shut up, and drop me off on the way to your place. I'll get an uber to pick me up after,” Deran told him. “It's going to take a couple of days anyway, so might as well get it done sooner than later.”

“This only works if you stop sleeping with other people,” Adrian said. He wasn't being possessive. They'd never had the kind of relationship that placed boundaries on either of them, though Deran's insecurity and jealousy had been a problem in the past. Deran was allowed to do what he wanted, but they needed to be on the same page.

“No shit...Haven't been with anyone since the night you dropped by the bar anyway,” Deran admitted.

Adrian didn't know why that twisted up something in his chest. It was hardly more than a week since then, but Deran could have a different partner every night if he wanted. It meant that he'd deliberately chosen not to go looking for hookups since Adrian had fumblingly made his intentions known, even if they were barely talking.

“Where do you want me to drop you?” Adrian asked, slowing the car as he waited for directions.

“Keep going a few more blocks. I'll tell you when to turn,” Deran told him, still holding on to Adrian's leg.

“I can wait for you if you want.”

“No, take Scout home and get him settled. I'll come by after, and we can have that beer.”

Adrian smiled. “Want me to order takeout or something?”

“I certainly don't want your cooking if that's the other option,” Deran told him, and Adrian laughed.

He wasn't a terrible cook, but he was a bachelor. He cooked to survive, not to impress. His meals had never compared to anything Smurf ever cooked, and Deran had never been shy about letting him know that. He'd never mentioned her explicitly, but Adrian knew Deran.

“Yeah, well I hope the guy you hired to cook at the bar is better than you are, or your guests are going to sue for food poisoning.”

“I'm a good cook. You haven't even tried what we have at the bar,” Deran shot back.

Adrian laughed, squeezing Deran's hand affectionately. “I guess you'll have to prove it to me sometime because I distinctly remember you almost setting your apartment on fire making toast,” Adrian teased him.

“Yeah, yeah. Fuck you. Takeout's fine.” Deran had a cigarette dangling between his lips, but he didn't light it.

Adrian wasn't sure if it was the fact that they weren't in his car or if he didn't want to light up with Scout in his lap. Either way, Adrian was once again impressed by the consideration it showed.

“Let's see if my dick's going to shrivel off,” Deran said, mock seriously.

Adrian shook his head as Deran got out of the car, but he waited until Deran was inside before pulling away from the curb.

Scout was restless in his lap, but he didn't try to escape. Instead, he funneled his energy into licking Adrian all over. The cone got in the way, but Scout was determined.

“Stop that. I know where that mouth has been, and trust me, Craig's socks are not a delicacy,” Adrian told him, but he did nothing to stop Scout's affectionate tongue.

Instead of going straight home, Adrian drove to the beach and parked his car. He didn't let Scout out of his arms because he doubted sand and water would be good for fresh stitches, but he didn't want to coop Scout up in his apartment.

Despite the energy that Scout had shown since they arrived to pick him up, he fell asleep in Adrian's arms almost immediately as Adrian found a place to sit and watch the waves.

Adrian ran his hand down Scout's back, scratching just above his tail before repeating the action.

“I don't know about him, Scout,” Adrian spoke softly to the sleeping dog. “One minute, he won't even talk to me, and the next he's right back in my life like he never left it.”

Scout's tongue lolled out of his mouth as he slumbered on. Adrian studied the puppy, wondering what had gone through Deran's mind when he found the dog. Adrian couldn't imagine leaving the helpless dog either, but Deran had a different code that he lived by.

“Smurf would hate you,” Adrian added. “The way Deran looks at you...she would've gotten rid of you right away. Nothing comes between her and her boys without getting completely fucked.”

Adrian looked up from Scout and out at the breaking waves. “I remember when her voice wasn't the loudest one in his head, and he'd just... _live._ ”

“ _What are you doing here?” Adrian asked as he watched Deran climb through his bedroom window. His parents were in the living room watching television together, and Adrian was very grounded. They'd caught him sneaking in after getting high with Deran on a school night._

“ _Breaking you out,” Deran whispered back, at least having the sense not to loudly advertise his presence._

“ _I can't go anywhere. They come in here every twenty minutes to make sure I'm still in here,” Adrian told him._

_Deran frowned. “What's up their ass?”_

“ _I told you they caught me sneaking in after Craig's party,” Adrian told him, scooting over on his bed to make room for Deran._

“ _So?”_

_Adrian sighed. Deran was impossible. He'd never understand that throwing parties every day of the week and getting drunk and high with his family wasn't actually normal to most people._

“ _I can't sneak out tonight, so you should probably go,” Adrian told him instead._

“ _Nah, I'll stay. What are you watching?” Deran asked, leaning back against the wall that Adrian's bed was propped against, pressing his body against Adrian's._

“ _Just some footage,” Adrian said, adjusting his laptop on his thighs, so Deran could properly see the screen. He picked up his earbuds and handed one over to Deran._

_Deran smiled as he popped the bud into his ear and reached over Adrian's hand to play the video._

“ _You're predictable by the way,” Deran side, bumping their shoulders._

_Adrian didn't say anything. He knew he was going to get his ass handed to him when his father came to check on him and found Deran in here, but it was worth it to spend time with Deran alone, which was becoming more and more uncommon as Smurf pushed him further and further into the family business._

“ _Lights out, Adri—” His father stopped short as he saw Deran sitting beside Adrian on the bed. “What are you doing here, Deran?”_

“ _Keeping Adrian company while he's unjustly imprisoned,” Deran told Adrian's father._

_Adrian shook his head and punched Deran in the shoulder._

“ _Let's go, Deran,” his father said calmly, motioning for Deran to come with him._

“ _I'll see you tomorrow,” Deran said, pulling out the earbud and dropping it into Adrian's hand._

“ _See ya,” Adrian said, wrapping his fingers around the earbud and watching Deran throw his shoulders back and saunter across the room, like he wasn't being kicked out by Adrian's dad._

“ _You know he's grounded, Deran. You can't just come by whenever you want, and quit crawling in through his window. Use the door like a normal person...” Adrian's father's voice filtered back down the hall._

_Adrian just let his head fall back against the wall._

“ _He's bad news, Adrian. The whole family is,” his mother said, coming to stand in his doorway._

“ _He's my best friend, mom.”_

“ _You have plenty of friends. Don't let him spoil the others for you.”_

“ _Best. Friend.”_

“ _He's gone to prison--”_

“ _Juvie, and it was bullshit.”_

“ _Adrian...”_

“ _Just leave it, Mom. I'm not going to stop hanging out with Deran. Punish me all you want, but it won't change anything.”_

“ _We aren't trying to punish you, Adrian. We're concerned. Your grades are slipping. You spend more time surfing than going to school, and the drugs...”_

“ _Because I'm good at surfing, and I'm winning competitions. And weed hardly counts as drugs, Mom. It's not like I'm snorting lines of cocaine before class or sticking a needle in my arm.”_

“ _One thing leads to another, and Deran--”_

“ _Deran doesn't do hard drugs either.”_

“ _Get some rest, Adrian,” she said softly, turning out the light before closing his door. She was always dismissive of his reasoning when it came to Deran. Adrian understood why they didn't like him. He knew exactly who Deran was and what came with being a Cody. That didn't change that Deran was his best friend. Deran knew things about him that his parents couldn't even fathom, and he knew the same of Deran._

_Adrian could hear his parents arguing through the door, but he didn't try to listen to what they were saying. Instead, he turned off his laptop and crawled beneath the covers._

_He'd been asleep for awhile when he woke with a jerk. The house was quiet and dark, but someone was outside his window. Adrian watched as the window was pushed open and Deran's head appeared._

“ _They'll kill us both if they catch you.”_

“ _So, shut up, and they won't catch me,” Deran said, climbing back into his room._

“ _It's past midnight. I can't sneak out.”_

“ _Just move over,” Deran said, pulling the sheets back and climbing right into bed with Adrian._

“ _Jesus, you're freezing.”_

“ _I've been sitting beneath your window for two hours, waiting for your parents to go to sleep,” Deran protested, pressing his body against Adrian's. “Are you still wearing your jeans?”_

“ _I just sort of crawled into bed after my mom guilt tripped me.”_

“ _I heard that.”_

_Adrian ducked his head even though Deran couldn't see his face._

“ _You don't need to defend me to them. I won't be pissed off if you don't fight with them about it. They might even let you off the hook with this stupid grounding shit.”_

“ _Shut up and sleep,” Adrian told him, rolling to face away from Deran._

“ _You're my best friend too. Just don't tell Craig. He's all sensitive about that shit.”_

“ _Deran, shut up.”_

“ _You don't have porn on that laptop, do you?” Deran asked after a minute or two._

“ _I'm not watching porn with you when my parents are just down the hall and constantly walking in on me,” Adrian insisted. He also didn't want to admit that the only porn on his computer was strictly men._

“ _Fine, but when you're not grounded anymore, Craig bought this crazy one. We need to watch it.”_

“ _Deran. Go to sleep, or_ I'm _going to kick you out.”_

_Deran grumbled, but he stopped talking. Despite knowing he'd be in even more trouble come morning, Adrian found sleep easily with Deran's steady presence beside him._

Scout's tongue caught Adrian's hand and he looked down to find Scout looking up at him.

“What? The beach no fun if you can't play in the water?” Adrian asked, continuing to rub the dog's back. Adrian checked his phone as he slowly rose to his feet. There were a few messages from Deran he hadn't noticed.

—They've got lube samples. Silky or warming?—

Adrian laughed at the attached picture that followed of both packets in Deran's palm.

—Never mind. I just grabbed a handful.—

—My pocket is conspicuously bulging right now. People in the waiting room are totally going to think the doctor's office gives me a boner.—

Adrian smiled. Deran was never anything less than fully stocked when it came to lube. And he'd tried just about every kind of product out there. There was not reason for him to be raiding the sample jar other than to send stupid texts to Adrian.

“He's an idiot, Scout,” Adrian mumbled as he got Scout situated in his car. Once Adrian was buckled in, he typed out a quick reply.

—A lot of good the lube is going to do you if your dick falls off—

He didn't even have time to put the car in gear before a reply came through.

—Where are you? I'm at your place with beer. Where is my food?—

—Sorry, brought Scout to the beach and lost track of time. Call it in and I'll pick it up on the way—

Adrian's phone began to ring almost as soon as he sent the message.

“You at the usual spot?” Deran asked instead of saying hello.

“Yeah, we were just leaving.”

“Stay. I'll grab food and come to you.”

“That sounds a lot like a picnic on the beach which would be right up there with fagging it up at Pottery Barn...”

“We can fag it up on the beach as much as we want,” Deran shot back, clearly going for suggestive but coming across uncertain. His voice was a little quieter than before, like he was wrestling was himself as to what to say.

“I wasn't expecting another apology,” Adrian told him, rubbing Scout's back as the dog looked up at him through drowsy eyes.

“I know. Doesn't mean I shouldn't anyway.”

“You don't have a car to meet us. I'll just come back with the food, and we can eat in bed or something,” Adrian said, staring out the window of the car at the public restrooms that Deran had beat the shit out of him in. He didn't get the twist in his gut that usually came with looking at the building.

“Right. I'll just help myself to some of the beer and jerk off in your bed again,” Deran told him.

Adrian shook his head as a smile crept over his face. “Have fun with your hand. I'll see you in a bit,” Adrian said, hanging up before Deran suggested they have phone sex while he was driving.

Dropping the phone into the cup holder he took one last look over at the bathrooms.

“ _Hey, wake up,” Deran whispered._

_Adrian opened his eyes to find Deran looking down at him. His long hair fell into Adrian's face, and he wrinkled his nose as it tickled him._

“ _What time is it?”_

“ _Just after five. Got a text. The waves are killer this morning,” Deran told him, pushing his hair back then letting it fall into Adrian's face again._

“ _I can't,” Adrian said. His parents were already going to kill him when then found out that Deran had spent the night._

“ _I'll get you to school on time.”_

“ _Deran...”_

“ _The waves have been shit for weeks. Come on, you know you're dyin' to get out there,” Deran said, pressing his palm against Adrian's chest._

“ _They'll be up in an hour, and then they'll be in here on my case again. If I'm not here, I'll be grounded until I'm eighteen.”_

“ _Say you went for a run before school.”_

_Adrian gave him what he hoped was a glower. Deran was an idiot sometimes. Smurf didn't care what he got up to so long as he didn't get anyone pregnant or get arrested. That left very little off the table as far as behavior was concerned._

“ _Adrian, get your ass out of bed. Live a little. You won't regret it,” Deran promised, sitting up and pulling Adrian up with him._

_They stripped in silence,and Adrian pulled out an old wetsuit for Deran to use before pulling on his own. Deran climbed out the window first and laughed as he had to help Adrian out behind him._

“ _Have you seriously never climbed out your own window before? How do you usually sneak out?”_

“ _I don't do it in a wetsuit usually. This thing is kinda restrictive,” Adrian retorted._

_Deran snorted then cringed at how loud it was. “Sorry, but that was the lamest excuse. You totally tell then when you go out don't you?”_

_Adrian huffed and gave Deran a shove as they grabbed their boards from the back stoop. Deran just laughed as they took off down the block. It was so easy to forget everything else when Deran was around. He could forget he was grounded. He could forget that he had several tests to study for. He could forget the crippling doubts he had about measuring up._

_Deran liked to smoke weed to mellow out, but Deran was the most potent drug Adrian had ever experienced. So, it was a little shocking to come home to find his bedroom window locked and his father standing at the front door looking very disappointed. It was worth the extra week of punishment though because he wouldn't forget the exhilaration of surfing with Deran for far longer than any punishment could last._

_And Deran had stood right beside him as his father laid into him about disobeying the rules. Adrian knew Deran was laughing internally, but he didn't find it that funny as the vein in his father's forehead twitched._

“ _Are you going to school this morning, Deran?” his father had asked, sounding exhausted by their antics._

“ _Sure, Glen.”_

_The vein twitched again as Deran used his father's first name._

“ _Go get dressed, and I'll give you two a ride,” his father said._

_Adrian grabbed Deran's arm and dragged him inside before Deran could say anything else. “Don't provoke him,” Adrian begged as he peeled off his wetsuit right in front of Deran._

“ _Sorry,” Deran apologized, sounding remarkably genuine._

_Adrian glanced up from wrestling the wetsuit off his feet to see Deran doing the same. His nudity hardly registered as Deran met his gaze, smiling warmly._

“ _It was worth it though, wasn't it?” he asked. Whether he was talking about sneaking out or surfing or something else entirely was anyone's guess, but the answer was the same no matter what he was asking._

“ _Yeah, D, it was worth it.” It was then that Adrian knew he'd probably sell his soul for Deran, and he'd still say it was worth it if Deran looked at him with those solemn eyes._

Adrian shook his head as he put his car in reverse and pulled out of the spot. Deran Cody had always been trouble, and he'd always been Adrian's.

 


End file.
